Strength to See
by Katfosel
Summary: With Kilgarrah's urging, Merlin tells Arthur his true identity, and ends up taking the whole Round Table to the Crystal Cave to replay the events of the past four years. But will what they see change their views for better, or worse? reveal!fic, obviously
1. the Dragon's Call

**Why do I keep saying I'm going to stop writing new fics? We all know that's not going to happen. So… YAY! :D I'll just write and write and write until my fingers bleed. Sigh. *dies* and I haven't died yet. So be happy. Be **_**very**_** happy. And click the little button that says 'review.' If you do not I will disappear off the face of the earth and never post another chapter… o.O**

**I've seen so many amazing reveal fics with this sort of idea, and I really wanted to write one! Soo… here you have it… this takes place after season 4. They said in season 5 they might reveal merlin's magic, and I nearly exploded! *explodes* or I guess now I did… so this is what I think should happen. Tada.**

**To watch this episode: go to youtube .com (remove space) and copy and paste this onto the end - /watch?v=5S8bW_ZOZqc&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PL4788060FF6A512AE**

**It will not work if you're on your ipod, iphone, ipad, or other apple device. They just don't play this kind of video. :P o\/o I've tried. Sorry. Blame apple and their stubbornness.**

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Prologue

"Merlin… _Merlin…_" Merlin woke groggily to hear the Great Dragon's voice whispering in his mind. Groaning, the warlock staggered out of bed and blearily pulled his leather coat and neckerchief on. Then he set off, sneaking past the guards easily by distracting them with a hovering rock, and made his way to what he'd come to dub the Dragon Meadow. He waited for about fifteen minutes when a shrill, happy cry came out of nowhere and a little white dragon came hurtling out of the sky and hit Merlin square in the chest. With an 'oof' he tumbled backwards, the little hatchling clinging on and gurgling joyfully.

"Aithusa!" the raven-haired boy groaned. "You're getting too big to be doing that… _ouch!_ Kilgarrah, uh… _first_, get him off of me! And second, why did you wake me up in the middle of the night again? Aithusa, I said _ouch!_"

The larger, bronze dragon shook his head. "Merlin, you can get him off yourself. And the reason I called you out here is to warn you… it is time."

This sobered Merlin up fast. He ordered Aithusa off his chest with a few guttural growls in a strange language, then stood up and brushed himself off, stroking the white dragon's head with one hand as he frowned at Kilgarrah. The hatchling had grown to a little bigger than a large dog, and was making a kind of purring, contented sound as his Dragonlord scratched his scales. "Are you sure?" he mused. "I guess… it's been four years. Arthur deserves to know." A flicker of sadness passed over his face. "I just don't know if I can… if I can _trust_ him. I mean, no, I trust him with my life… just not if he _knows_. He lost both of his parents to magic – he'll think I've been betraying him all along." The young warlock gazed pleadingly at his large, scaly kin. "I don't know what to do."

"You must do what is right, Merlin. And you must remember your destiny," Kilgarrah intoned gravely. Then he snorted to Aithusa and flapped off majestically, followed by the smaller white dragon. Merlin watched until he could see them no more, then plodded back towards Camelot with heavy feet and a heavier heart.

o.O.o

"Well, Merlin, what is it?" Arthur asked, exasperated. "You've been moping around all morning. You'd think somebody died."

That made the manservant flinch, but he said nothing, just continued folding Arthur's shirts without a glance towards his king. That prat could be so infuriatingly _insensitive_ sometimes. Merlin didn't know for the life of him where to start. _'Hey, guess what, I have magic! Well, __**am**__ magic, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't execute me so I could continue saving your sorry butt…'_ Definitely not. He opened his mouth. "Uh… Arthur… I kinda wanted to talk…" he began awkwardly. This was, unfortunately, the wrong thing to say.

"Oh do you want to _talk_? Let's discuss our feelings, eh? Honestly, you can be such a _girl_, Merlin." The king rolled his eyes, but inside he was more serious. Something was bothering his manservant – no, his friend – and he was going to find out what it was. If talking about it helped… well, it'd be a bother, but anything to get rid of Mopey Merlin. Talking. Yeah, right. The king of Camelot didn't _talk_ about other people's feelings. Arthur was a man of action, discussions with a depressed servant weren't his style.

It seemed Merlin was serious too. "No, Arthur. I need to tell you something. I've been… keeping a secret from you. And before I tell, please don't think any different of me. Just… remember happy memories. Although I fully understand if you'd want this." The young warlock pulled out Excalibur and seemed to cradle it for a moment, looking at it regretfully, then handed it over. This made Arthur frown. What could be so terrible he'd want to _hurt_ Merlin? Maybe talking wasn't a good idea after all…

Three words. Merlin went over them again and again. _Three words. Just three. I have magic. Or is it, I am magic? Either way. I am magic sounds better. More powerful. More… realistic, though. This is such a bother. I knew that overgrown lizard was going to be the death of me._

"Arthur… I am magic."

And what does the prat say? He seemed to be frozen for a moment, opening and closing his mouth, taking deep breaths and flexing his grip on Excalibur's handle. Then he started to speak.

"W-what?"

Merlin rolled his eyes. "I said, I am magic. Run me through if you want. I won't stop you. I might even… welcome it. Possibly. Not likely. But possibly." Now it was Arthur's turn to roll his eyes, and add a small snort.

"You… clumsy… _idiot! _Why didn't you tell me?"

"Your father would have me killed! Your laws _still _dictate I should be killed!"

"My father was… _blind_ in some things, but magic is evil! It corrupts you! Look what happened to Morgana!"

"That was not her fault, it was mine! I should have guided her better…"

Arthur started and glared. "What? Explain! Explain everything!"

This seemed to actually brighten Merlin, who grinned. "No, I have a better idea. Let's have an emergency Round Table meeting!" Arthur narrowed his eyes but nodded and stuck his head out the door warily, calling a servant and telling him to gather Leon, Percival, Gwen, Gwaine, and Elyan. As an afterthought he was about to add Gaius, but Merlin shook his head, his expression obvious. _He knows._ Then the king leveled his blade towards the manservant and they waited, a whole half hour until finally all five Round Table members entered – most rather hurriedly, one staggering around like he was drunk. He probably was. Gwaine hiccupped and started to grin, then he noticed his king pointing a sword at his best friend's chest. That definitely helped sober him up.

"What's going on, sire?" Elyan asked worriedly, glancing from Arthur to Merlin. Gwen started to run towards Merlin, but her husband shook his head and waved her back. Not that she listened. Shoving herself between Merlin and Excalibur, the Queen planted her feet, crossed her arms, and gave a murderous look to Arthur. This seemed to amuse only Merlin, who covered his mouth to keep from snorting.

"I've asked Merlin to… explain something," Arthur said haltingly, lowering his sword. "Right, _Mer_lin?"

The manservant chewed his lip, looking rather carefree. "You know, it would be easier if I showed you." He clapped his hands. "I have an idea! We'll all go the Crystal Cave! We can have a nice merry adventure!" This earned him a dagger glare from Arthur, confused glances from Elyan, Leon, and Percival, and a cheer and a clapping on the back from Gwaine.

"Now you're talking!" the still-half-drunk knight said enthusiastically. "Let's bring some ale!"

A chorus of _"No!" _echoed throughout Arthur's chambers, in unison. Pouting, Gwaine sulked next to Merlin, then asked the obvious question – "Are we leaving now?"

Merlin closed his eyes. "No… _now._" When he opened them, they were the color of molten gold. The others jumped back when a whirling wind around them picked the group off their feet and whisked them away. After the dust cleared, Merlin was the only one standing – still humming cheerfully with a cheeky grin – as he watched his friends heave themselves to their feet, grumbling and complaining. Arthur helped Gwen up then glanced around. "Welcome to the Crystal Cave!" Merlin announced. "Arthur wanted me to explain, but I don't really feel like all that talking, so I guess I'll show you." His eyes flashed gold again.

The thousands of clear white crystals that lined the cave, glittering, seemed to come to life, giving off a faint breath of steam. The crystals formed one big picture, colors vibrant and alive. Of a certain, familiar face…

o.O.o

**Merlin walked along the cobblestone path, gazing around in awe. The mighty stone walls of Camelot reared around him. The sound of chattering people surrounded him as the young warlock navigated his way carefully through the market. The distant sound of trumpets seemed caught his attention and he made his way through the gates to find a crowd of people gathering, talking excitedly – and some not so excitedly.**

"What the- where are we?" Arthur muttered, gazing around him. The pictures on the crystals had suddenly expanded and surrounded all of them. The king stepped in front of the young Merlin and waved a hand in front of his face, but got no reaction.

"Arthur, I can't see you," the present Merlin reprimanded, exasperated. "This is like a memory. It's showing the past."

"Ah…" Gwaine sighed. "So… er… majestic. The kingdom, I mean. Although your hair is definitely an improvement from when you were younger, mate." Merlin glared at him.

**The sound of drumbeats silenced the throng, and a man was led out, held tightly on either side by chainmail-toting guards. They dragged him up onto the platform, then looked expectantly up towards the balcony. Merlin followed their gaze and watched apprehensively as a balding gray-haired man clothed in fine robes watched over the courtyard impassively. Then he spoke, announcing the occasion in a firm and unyielding voice.**

"**Let this serve as a lesson to all. This man, Thomas James Collins, is guilty of conspiring to use enchantments and magic. And pursuing to the laws of Camelot, I, Uther Pendragon, have decreed that are banned on penalty of death."**

"Nice welcoming," Gwaine murmured. Arthur shot him a look.

"**And I pride myself as a fair and just king, but for the crime of sorcery there is but one sentence I can pass." Then he nodded down to the platform. Everyone, Merlin included – with a rather horrified expression lurking in his eyes – turned to look. The guard forced Thomas' head down on a rather scarred-looking wooden block. Up in a window, a woman in an expensive silk dress, with long dark hair, turned away slightly. A hooded man lugging a large axe took his place next to the block, raising the weapon. Uther's hand rose with him and the drums beat a little faster.**

**Then the hand came down, along with the blade, and the woman in the window flinched as the crowd gasped and looked away. Merlin simply stared ahead, a blank look of barely disguised terror on his face.**

"**When I came to this land, this kingdom was mired in chaos. But with the people's help magic was driven from the realm, so I declare a festival to celebrate twenty years since the Great Dragon was captured and Camelot freed from the evil of sorcery. Let the celebrations begin!" Uther raised his arms, a smile on his face, then walked away.**

Gwen snorted. "Celebrations? Gwaine's right, that was a terrible welcome to Camelot. I'm so sorry, Merlin." The warlock just shrugged.

**A shrill, keening cry could be heard from the slowly dispersing group of people. Everyone stopped and turned. An old, wizened woman in threadbare clothes was gripping the rough fabric tightly and gazing with tears in her eyes to the startled king on the balcony.**

"**There is only one evil in this land and it is not magic, it is you! With your hatred, and your ignorance!" she started to sob a little, and pointed back towards the platform, where the slightly bloody wooden block stood. "You took my son!" With this, her voice lowered to a more dangerous, rasping tone. "And I promise you before these celebrations are over, you will share my tears. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a son for a son!"**

"**Seize her!" Uther ordered, but the woman was too fast. Grabbing a small amber amulet around her neck, she hissed a few words and was gone in a swirling wind and a flash of light. Angrily, the king swept his cloak around him and strode from the balcony. The woman in the window shut her window and disappeared from view.**

The Round Table members from the present were whisked along with the younger Merlin, without moving a muscle.

**Merlin wandered into a hallway and asked a guard, "Where would I find Gaius, the Court Physician?" With a grunt, the guard pointed to the doorway beside him and the young warlock entered, looking up and down the stone stairs, following a sign that had an arrow and the words 'Court Physician.' Trotting down the corridor, he finally came to a wooden door and entered cautiously, knocking and saying "Hello?" tentatively. Walking in, Merlin gazed around at the many bottles of potions and herbs, the rather cluttered mess. "Hello?" Then he spotted an old man up on a second story that held a bookshelf, rearranging something. "Gaius?"**

**Clearing his throat, Merlin finally caught the attention of the physician, who turned and fell back, breaking through the wooden railing and falling to the stone floor. Instinctively, Merlin's eyes flashed gold and time slowed down for the old man, giving the warlock a moment to find Gaius' bed and move it over with another flash of his eyes. No words were spoken, but time unfroze and Gaius fell onto his bed with a crash and a clatter of the falling wooden pieces. He struggled up and off his bed, gazing incredulously at the young boy who had saved him.**

"**Nice catch," Gwaine whistled.**

"**Wh- what did you just do? Tell me!"**

**Merlin tried to cover up, stammering, "Uh, I, uh, have no idea what happened-"**

**The physician staggered over, one eyebrow seeming to be stuck in a permanently high position. "If anyone had seen that-"**

"**Uh, no! That, that was nothing, had nothing to do with me-"**

"**I know what it was, I just wanted to know where you learned how to do it!"**

"**No way, uh-"**

"**How is it you know magic?" the physician demanded.**

"**I don't!"**

"**Where did you study? Answer me!"**

"**N-no, I haven't- never have studied magic, o-or been taught-"**

"**Are you lying to me, boy?" Gaius seemed a little too desperate for answers. Poor Merlin was stammering, trying to explain, but not really getting through to the old physician.**

"Does Gaius really have that much of a temper?" Elyan asked, alarmed.

"**What do you want me to say?" Merlin asked, trying to calm down.**

**Gaius frowned and lowered his voice only a little bit. "The truth!"**

"**I was born like this!"**

The memory stopped for a moment. The younger versions of Gaius and Merlin froze, mouths still open, glaring at each other. Arthur seemed to stop breathing, himself. All eyes – present eyes – turned to the real Merlin, who was just gazing mournfully at them. "You were… born with magic?" Gwen struggled to ask. Merlin nodded and with another golden flash of his eyes, the world around them unfroze.

"**That's impossible!" Gaius protested. He turned, looked around for a moment, then said abruptly, "Who are you?"**

**This startled Merlin, but he slid his pack off his shoulders and fumbled around in the pockets for a moment. "Oh, uh…" He knitted his eyebrows together as he dug around. "I have this letter…" Pulling out a slip of paper, he handed it to Gaius. The physician studied the boy in front of him carefully.**

"**Well, I don't have my glasses!" the silvery-haired man pointed out.**

"**I'm Merlin," the boy explained.**

**This seemed a pleasant surprise, and Gaius asked happily, "Hunith's son?"**

"**Yes!" Merlin was relieved that the old physician finally understood something.**

"**But you're not meant to be here until Wednesday!" Gaius said.**

**Merlin paused and gave him a strange look. "It is Wednesday."**

The present Round Table roared with laughter, Gwaine at the head. The knight was doubled over, and they were so loud the real Merlin rolled his eyes and stopped the memory for a moment. Even Gwen let out a little giggle, and Arthur cracked the first smile since he'd found out the secret.

"It is… Wednesday…" Gwaine wheezed, tears in the corners of his eyes from laughing. "Gaius… really… that bad… short term memory…" Merlin gave a snort and joined in for a moment, then resumed the scene around them.

"**Ah…" Gaius said, at a loss. "Right then. Well, you can put your bag in there," he gestured to the back room.**

**Merlin nodded and started towards the steps, then spun and waved his hand at the bed and the broken railing. "You won't say anything about the, uh, this?"**

"**No," the physician assured him. Merlin nodded continued on to his room. "Although Merlin, I should say thank you," he added. The raven-haired boy smiled slightly, then went up the few steps to his room. There was a sudden change of scene, showing a candle burning on a desk, then moving to inside the room where Merlin was arranging books in a pile, then sitting down on his bed. Judging by how dark it was outside, several hours had gone by. He looked around, then stood on a small chest by the window and looked out at the tiny pinpricks of light all over Camelot. It was quite beautiful. With a joyous smile, the warlock headed off to bed.**

The Round Table listened as Hunith's voice read the letter that Gaius was reading in the scene before them.

"_**My dear Gaius, I turn to you for I feel lost and alone. I don't know who to trust. It is every mother's fate to think her child is special, and yet I would give my life that Merlin were not so. Ours is a small village, and he is so close with people here that if he were to remain, I fear what would become of him. He needs a hand to hold, a voice to guide, someone that might help him find a purpose for his gifts. I beg you, if you understand a mother's love for her son, keep him safe."**_** Gaius removed his small spectacles and glanced towards the closed door of Merlin's room, where the boy had fallen asleep. Then he folded the letter and the scene changed.**

**This time it showed a view from inside, looking out a window at the small wooden platform below with the chopping block that had killed Thomas Collins earlier that day. A guard stood by and the axe was still imbedded in the wood. The sound of an opening door didn't startle the dark-haired woman from before, who was again watching from the window. She took a deep breath, eyes troubled.**

"**Morgana." Uther came striding from the direction of the celebration. "What is this? Why are you not joining us at the feast?"**

"**I just don't think chopping someone's head off is cause for celebration," she replied defiantly, turning to face him. Uther sighed. "That poor mother," Morgana continued, more softly.**

**Uther narrowed his eyes. "It was simple justice for what he'd done."**

"**To whom?" Morgana protested. "For practicing magic? He didn't hurt anyone."**

**The king's voice lowered dangerously. "You weren't around twenty years ago, you don't know what it was like-"**

"**Oh, and you're going to keep punishing people for what happened then," she said scathingly.**

"**Until they realize there is no room for magic in my kingdom!" Uther growled. "You will be with me when I greet Lady Helen."**

"**I told you, I want no part in these cele-"**

"**I am your guardian," Uther interrupted, angry now. "I expect you to do as I ask. If you show me no respect, at least respect our finest singer." And with that he strode off, leaving Morgana glaring at his retreating back.**

"**You know the more brutal you are, the more enemies you'll create!" she called after him. The king didn't turn around and the sound of a door opening and closing, along with the faint noise of music and talking, faded as the scene changed again.**

"How long does this last?" Percival asked, glancing around. "It keeps changing."

Merlin didn't look up from the next location – a large tent, with two white horses stationed outside. Guards patrolled around them. "Until the memory is over. I do warn you, there are 52 memories."

The Round Table groaned.

**A rather beautiful woman was sitting at a table inside the tent, combing the knots out of her hair with her fingers. A noise outside made her turn suddenly. Another noise from the opposite side provoked a gasp and a turn to the other wall of the tent. "Hello?" she called nervously. A shadow moved across the fabric, moving slightly in the light from the fire outside. "Gregory?"**

**A guard poked his head inside. "Lady Helen."**

"**Is all well?" she asked anxiously.**

**Gregory nodded. "Yes, my lady. We should reach Camelot late tomorrow."**

"**That's good," Lady Helen said, relieved. He nodded and left. Left alone again, she let out a breath. The guards outside the tent were suddenly distracted by a strange noise and the sound of someone stepping on a branch. Gregory stepped carefully towards the noise, drawing his sword. "Who's there?" No reply, just the distant hooting of an owl. "Who's there?"**

**Inside the tent, Lady Helen was carefully drying her chin with a towel while gazing into an ornate hand mirror. Another noise from outside made her spin, and this time the shadow that moved against the cloth looked nothing like a guard. With a rather terrified expression, she looked around frantically. The old woman, Mary Collins, gazed into the tent. Helen jumped and her eyes widened. Drawing out a small puppet made of straw, Mary hissed a spell.**

"**Acwele seo mægþ! Acwele seo mægþ!" she said quietly, eyes fixed on the woman before her. "Acwele seo mægþ!" She stabbed the puppet every time she repeated the spell, until with a small release of air, Lady Helen collapsed, dead.**

**Then Mary sat at the dressing table and pulled out the amber amulet. Muttering more strange words, her skin, face, and entire body slowly changed to match that of Lady Helen's exactly. Feeling her smooth cheeks, Mary smiled, then picked up the mirror and looked into it. The old woman that was her true form stared back.**

**Once again, the scene changed, this time to a sleeping Merlin, eyes closed. "Merlin… Merlin…" a voice whispered. The warlock's blue eyes snapped open and he sat up. Sunlight was streaming in weakly from his window, lighting up his small room. Flashing to a view from the main chambers, it showed Merlin coming down the stairs pulling his leather jacket on, clad in his usual brown trousers, boots, blue shirt and red neckerchief.**

"**I got you water," Gaius announced, scooping some strange-looking porridge into a bowl. "You didn't wash last night."**

"**Sorry," Merlin muttered, sitting down at the table.**

**Gaius put the bowl in front of him. "Help yourself to breakfast." Merlin messed around with his spoon for a minute, while the physician sidled up next to him and suddenly knocked the bucket of water off the tabletop. With a golden flash of his eyes, Merlin froze the bucket and the water, then seeing the expression on Gaius' face let it splash all over the floor.**

"**How did you do that?" the old man demanded. "Did you incant a spell in your mind?" Merlin shook his head quickly.**

"**I don't know any spells," he said defensively.**

**Gaius pressed on. "Then what did you do? There must be something!"**

**Merlin shrugged his shoulders. "It just happens." He grabbed a mop and began wiping at the water on the floor. "I'll clean this up."**

"**Well, we'd better keep you out of trouble," Gaius said wryly. "You can help me until I find some paying work for you. Here," he got three small bottles with different potions in them and put them on the table, "Hollyhock and feverfew for Lady Percival, and this is for Sir Olwen. He's blind as a weevil so warn him not to take it all at once." Then he smiled and grabbed a plate with a sandwich on it. "And here." Merlin grinned at him, and grabbed the sandwich and the bottles. "Off you go," the old physician said affectionately. Nodding, the boy headed towards the door, when Gaius called after him. "And Merlin! I need hardly remind you that the practice of magic or any form of enchantment will get you killed." Merlin nodded again and went out the door and down the hallway.**

**First he wandered around the courtyard to another hallway, then knocked on the door. A wizened old man with scrunched-up eyes answered and Merlin handed him the potion. "I brought you your medicine." The man nodded and took it after some feeling around in midair. Merlin was about to leave when he turned back to see Sir Olwin uncorking the bottle and downing it. "Oh and Gaius said not to drink it all at- er…" He finished it with some smacking. Merlin was slightly alarmed but put on his oookay-leaving-now smile. "I'm sure it's fine." He left.**

Gwaine burst out laughing again. "Oh, Merlin… first Gaius and now this old coot for a knight…"

"Gwaine!" Arthur reprimanded. "You know that'll be you one day. Sir Olwin was a great knight, served Camelot for many years until he went blind."

"And lost all his brains!" the long-haired knight quipped, still snorting.

_[A/N: oh. my. god. this is crazy! Look, I'm only 13 minutes and 48 seconds into the episode and this is 9 pages on Microsoft word and 4,446 words! I think I'm gonna skip a little… *dies*]_

**Now they were suddenly looking at a large training field. Merlin strode around the outskirts, looking around at the sunny weather. Then he heard a voice.**

"**Where's the target?"**

"Oh great," the present Arthur muttered.

**A young blonde man with a red tunic and bright silver armor was standing, holding several swords and addressing a servant snarkily. The servant looked more than a little scared, but he replied, "There, sir?" lifting the shield he held slightly.**

"**It's into the sun," the blonde continued. This just confused the servant more.**

"**But it's… not that bright," he mumbled.**

**The blonde grinned, "A bit like you, then!"**

Guinevere frowned at her husband, who turned away with an innocent look.

"**I'll put the target at the other end, shall I, sire," the servant muttered, clearly angry at this man's jibe but unwilling to counter it. The knights around the blonde armored one snickered and gave sneering comments under their breath. Heaving a sigh, the servant picked up the shield and began to move it across the field. The blonde whispered something to his knights with an annoying cocky grin. "This'll teach him."**

**As the shield moved, the blonde drew a sword and hurled it with the easy look of having practiced many times. The sword thudded into the wood and the servant gave it a horrified look. "Hey, hang on a minute!" he protested. Up in a window, a dark-skinned maid was hanging out a silk dress to dry and glared at the blonde from where she watched. "Don't stop!" the blonde laughed, and continued throwing more swords. More jeers and shouts of "Keep running!" were hurled at the servant until he fell over and the shield rolled across the ground. A certain leather boot stopped it and Merlin looked down at the servant with sympathy.**

"**Hey," Merlin called. The blonde turned around to face him. "Come on, that's enough."**

**Clearly the blonde wasn't used to being talked to like that. "What?"**

"**You've had your fun, my friend," the neckerchief-toting boy continued with a small smile. The blonde started towards him, narrowing his eyes with a slightly disbelieving expression.**

"**Do I know you?"**

**Merlin held out his hand. "I'm Merlin."**

"**So I don't know you." The blonde didn't shake it.**

**The raven-haired boy shook his head slightly. "Ah, no."**

"**Yet you called me friend."**

"**That was my mistake."**

"**Yes, I think so." The blonde didn't seem much impressed by this newcomer.**

"**Yeah, I'd never have a friend who could be such an ass," Merlin said with a raised eyebrow and a tiny smirk.**

"Way to go, Merlin!" Gwaine cheered. Arthur glared at him.

**The blonde laughed a little. "Or I one who could be so stupid. Tell me, Merlin – do you know how to walk on your knees?"**

"**No."**

"**Would you like me to help you?"**

**Merlin gave a slight laugh. "I wouldn't if I were you."**

"**Why? What are you going to do to me?" the blonde matched his laugh.**

**"You have no idea."**

"_Mer_lin!" the present Arthur exclaimed, narrowing his eyes at his manservant. "That's what you meant? I should have strung you up long ago."

"But you didn't!" the boy said cheekily. "Watch the memory, prat."

"**Be my guest!" the blonde snorted, stepping back and holding out his arms. "Come on! Come on! Come on…" he taunted. Merlin sighed and threw a punch, which was easily blocked and twisted back, until the blonde man had the smaller boy in an armlock. "I could throw you in jail for that," the blonde said.**

**Merlin panted slightly. "Who do you think you are, the king?"**

"**No. I'm his son, Arthur."**

**Next it switched to a view of Merlin being marched down some stairs by two guards and thrown into a cell. He sat up, spitting out hay, with a sigh and a glare.**

"**Arthur!"** Gwen snapped, with a murderous glint in her eye. The king flinched and tried to smile, but all this was mowed down by her fury. "Even I saw what was going on all those years ago, but I didn't know you actually threw him in jail!"

He scratched the back of his head. "Well…"

Merlin intervened, thankfully. "I'm going to skip ahead a little." The world swirled around them, rather disorienting, until it came to a stop.

"**There's something about you, Merlin," Arthur said with a puzzled look. The young warlock was once again being held by two armed guards. "I can't quite put my finger on it."**

"Wasn't this where we chased each other through the lower town with maces?" Arthur mused. Gwaine snorted, Merlin grinned, and Gwen looked horrified.

"I still have the scars," the warlock complained. "Now shut up and watch."

Arthur held up one hand. "Wait! When we were fighting, I kept tripping up. I suppose that was you, wasn't it, _Mer_lin?" Once again Merlin grinned.

"I said shut up and watch. Prat."

"I decide when either of us should shut up. Clumsy idiot."

"Dollop head."

"Merlin-"

Gwen gave Arthur a pointed look. He shut up. The knights – and Merlin – laughed.

**The scene skipped to show Merlin walking into Gaius' chambers, wincing at the pain in his shoulders. "How could you be so foolish?" the physician yelled.**

"**He needed to be taught a lesson!" the warlock protested.**

"**Magic must be studied, mastered, and used for good, not for idiotic pranks!"**

"**What is there to master? I could move objects like that before I could talk!" Merlin yelled back, breathing heavily.**

The Round Table was silent. All of them watched Merlin carefully. The warlock said nothing, and erased the emotions off his face.

**Gaius was still livid. "Then by now you should know how to control yourself!"**

"**I don't want to! If I can't use magic, what have I got? I'm just a nobody, and I always will be. If I can't use magic, I might as well die." With that, the warlock stormed back to his room, leaving a rather stricken-looking Gaius behind. Later, the physician pushed his way into the room to find Merlin lying face-down on the mattress.**

"**Merlin," he said gently. "Sit up. Take your shirt off." He set down a small medicine bag on his ward's bedside table. With a sigh, Merlin sat up and pulled his red, roughspun shirt off. There were long scratches across his shoulders from the mace. Gaius pulled something out of his bag and started dabbing at the wounds.**

Gwen cleared her throat at Arthur, who looked a little regretful, as he hadn't realized that the boy had been _that _badly hurt. Well, it wasn't much, but it was still a lot more than he thought had happened. Plus… what he'd said. About being a nobody. Was that really how his manservant felt?

"**You don't know why I was born like this, do you?" he asked, in a slightly broken tone. Gaius said nothing at first, just swabbed the scratches with a small cloth.**

"**No."**

"**I'm not a monster, am I?"**

"Merlin!" Gwen gasped. He said nothing, just stared at his past self, pausing the memory as he sensed that a flurry of questions and exclamations of pity were going to come flying at him. "You're not a monster!"

"Well, I didn't know that," he whispered. Again, silence.

Then Gwaine decided things were too serious – his best friend was looking too solemn for his own health. He could use some ale. Well, that probably wasn't a good idea… he went for a joke instead. "I've never seen you with a shirt off, mate."

Merlin flushed bright red while the other knights snorted, but shot a brief, grateful glance at Gwaine.

"**Don't ever think that," Gaius said slowly.**

"**Then why am I like this?" Merlin was desperate for answers. "Please, I need to know. Why?"**

**The physician chose his words carefully. "Maybe there's… someone, with more knowledge than me."**

"**If you can't tell me, no one can."**

**Then the memory swirled around them again and came to a stop with Merlin trotting down a long flight of stairs in his nightclothes, a torch in hand. "Merlin…" a deep voice whispered.**

"Creepy," Percival muttered.

"**Merlin… Merlin… MERLIN!" The warlock emerged onto a rocky ledge. Below and around him were vast expanses of dark cavernous caves. A large outcropping in front of him lay empty, and a thick silver chain bobbed slightly in the small breeze blowing through the cave. "Hello?" he called nervously.**

**With a rush of air and a loud beating of wings, a large bronze dragon came swooping from above and landed on the rocky spur. Merlin leaped back, startled.**

"**How small you are, for such a great destiny," the dragon remarked.**

"**Why? What do you mean? What destiny?"**

"**Your gift, Merlin, was given to you for a reason."**

**Those words seemed to make Merlin more relieved than anything he'd known before. "So there is a reason?"**

**The dragon laughed slightly. "Arthur is the Once and Future King who will unite the land of Albion."**

"I'm what now?" Arthur asked, confused. Merlin shushed him.

"**Right," Merlin drawled.**

"**But he faces many threats, from friend and foe alike."**

**Merlin frowned. "I don't see what this has to do with me."**

"**Everything. Without you, Arthur will never succeed. Without you, there will be no Albion."**

"Oh great," Arthur muttered.

"**No." The warlock shook his head. "No, you've got this wrong."**

"**There is no right or wrong, only what is and what isn't."**

"**I'm serious! If anyone wants to go and kill him, they can go ahead. In fact, I'll give them a hand."**

That was it. "Merlin!" Arthur yelled. The warlock grinned.

"You were even more of a prat back then. It was understandable that I didn't like your high and mighty, hoity-toity pompous, arrogant, patronizing ways when you're constantly annoying everyone you're around, head-butting with those thick knights and-"

"We get it!" the king roared.

Gwaine looked affronted. "Thick?"

"Not you. But _anyways…_"

**The dragon chuckled. "None of us can choose our destiny, Merlin. And none of us can escape it."**

"**No. No, there must be some other Arthur, because this one's an idiot."**

"**Perhaps it's your destiny to change that." The dragon flapped his wings and flew away, leaving a bewildered Merlin.**

"**Wait! No, wait! Wait, stop, I need to know more!" But the dragon was gone.**

Arthur raised an eyebrow. "An idiot, huh?"

"Yep."

**The scene swirled to show a large, extravagant dining hall. Trumpets were playing in the distance while finely clothed nobles milled around, talking and sampling the food. Arthur was seen punching his friends on the shoulder, talking in loud noises. Merlin glared at his back from where he stood next to Gaius.**

_**My destiny, huh, **_**he thought.**

To the surprise of those watching, Merlin's thoughts echoed in their heads. They stared at the real one, who shrugged.

**Just then, Morgana entered, wearing a very expensive-looking red velvet dress collecting around the waist with a golden belt attached with fake gold leaves, as well as a halter fastening and a small band around her forehead. "God have mercy," Arthur murmured. From nearby, Merlin stared as well.**

Gwaine burst out laughing, and both Merlin and Arthur blushed furiously. "Look, I didn't know she was my sister!" the king said in his defense. Gwen shot him a look. Merlin snorted slightly.

"**She looks great, doesn't she?" Gwen said excitedly, appearing at Merlin's side after Gaius wandered off. The warlock grunted assent. "Some people are just born to be queen," the handmaiden continued, refilling a goblet with her pitcher.**

"**No," Merlin blurted out, turning to her.**

**Gwen nodded. "I hope so, one day. Ah, not that I'd want to be her. Who would want to marry Arthur?"**

All the knights started laughing. "Eating your words now, huh?" Elyan grinned at his sister.

"**Oh, come on Gwen, I thought you liked those rough tough types of men."**

"**No," she protested. "I like much more ordinary men like you."**

A chorus of 'oohs,' led by Gwaine, emitted from the watching knights. Merlin pretended to whistle innocently, while Gwen blushed and Arthur's face twitched slightly.

**Merlin snorted. "Oh, Gwen, believe me, I'm not ordinary."**

"**No, I didn't mean you!" she covered up hastily. "Obviously, not ****you****, but just… you know, I like much more ordinary men. ****Like**** you."**

**Merlin raised an eyebrow. "Thanks."**

**She nodded, looking disconcerted. The trumpets began to play again, and everyone took their seats, Gwen and Merlin retreating to the sidelines. Uther came striding down the middle of the two tables, and took his place at the head.**

"**We have enjoyed twenty years of peace and prosperity. It has brought the kingdom and myself many pleasures. But few can compare with the honor of introducing Lady Helen, of Mora." Much clapping ensued, and Uther took his seat. Lady Helen – or Mary, for that was her true identity – was standing at the far end of the hall.**

**An eerie melody filled the halls, in a strange language. Slowly everyone in the hall began to nod off to sleep. Merlin realized what was happening and covered his ears. Spiderwebs began to form on everyone's sleeping bodies, and the candles went out. Mary made her way down the hall, the tempo of her song picking up pace until she stopped about twenty feet from the head table where Uther, Arthur, and Morgana lay sleeping. Pulling out a dagger, she prepared to throw it at Arthur, her shrill voice repeating again and again. As she was about to throw, Merlin's eyes flashed gold and the chandelier fell on her. The enchantment was lifted, and everyone began to stir. Uther stood up suddenly and gazed down at who he thought was Lady Helen, but as she raised her head her face and body had reverted to that of an old woman. Not to be defeated, she dragged her hand which still clasped the dagger and threw. Arthur seemed frozen, but once again with a flash Merlin's eyes shifted from blue to molten gold and the knife slowed, allowing the warlock time to grab the Prince's shoulder and drag him down. The dagger struck the back of Arthur's wooden chair and Mary collapsed, dead.**

**Both prince and warlock stared at the dagger, when they stood up and brushed themselves off. Uther came up and grasped his son's shoulder. "You saved my boy's life," he said, incredulously. "A debt must be repaid."**

"**Ah, well…"**

"**Don't be so modest. You shall be rewarded."**

**Merlin looked a little overwhelmed. "No, honestly, you don't have to-"**

"**No, absolutely! This merits something quite special. You shall be awarded a position in the royal household. You shall be Prince Arthur's manservant." The king looked rather proud of himself as he walked off to the crowd's applause.**

"**Father!" Arthur yelped, looking just as disgusted as Merlin. They glanced at each other then turned away. Gwen and Gaius both smiled from the tables, clapping earnestly.**

**Then the memory faded to black.**

The Round Table found themselves back in the Crystal Cave. Everyone stared at Merlin and Arthur. They glanced at each other and then away, almost exactly as they had in the memory.

"Everyone in Camelot will be worried," Leon remarked.

Merlin shook his head. "No, while we are in here time is suspended. I've got food though." With a now rather familiar flash of golden eyes, a small feast appeared before them on a flat rock. It moved slowly to the center of the cave, and six smaller rocks levitated and formed seats. Merlin sat down happily and gestured for them to do the same.

"Now, after we're done, we can keep watching," he said cheerfully. "One down, fifty-one to go!" 

The others groaned, then helped themselves.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

**may I just say… O. M. F. G. **_**sixteen **_**pages on Microsoft word, in 11 font (and Times New Roman), and 7,122 words. GAH. And that was with me skipping a third of the episode! Maybe I'll shorten it for Valiant… yeah, I'll probably do that… sigh.**

**~DeaththeKidKat**


	2. the Lady of the Lake

**This is going to take forever. Sigh. Oh well! It's fun! :D I got several suggestions to focus more on the present people's reactions than the actual episode. Sorry. And I decided to skip a little! And then I'll go back! And forth and back and forth… XD bear with my rambling.**

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

"So what next?" Gwaine asked, finishing his ale with a happy sigh. Merlin had refused to refill his tankard after the knight had downed three, but that was alright. The world was slightly unfocused again, and everything was happy. Joyful and _drunk_.

"I think we should skip around a bit!" Merlin said cheerfully. "You know. We probably aren't going to get to all fifty-two memories, but that's okay…"

Arthur rolled his eyes and Elyan muttered, "Anything to keep from watching you and Gwen failing at flirting." Both flushed bright red.

Gwaine laughed. "Aw, was Gwen Merlin's first love? How cute!"

"She wasn't my first love, Fr-" Merlin blurted, cutting himself off and turning his head away sharply. This only peaked his companion's interest.

"Ooh, who's 'Fr'?" Gwaine cooed, but he too cut himself off at the small tears forming in the corners of Merlin's eyes.

Arthur was fed up with this. "Let's see that one, then!" Merlin pressed his lips together tightly and shook his head. That didn't exactly sit well with the king. "That's an _order_, Merlin," he said harshly. At the open look of shock and hurt on his manservant's face, he felt a pang of regret, but pushed it down roughly. Merlin had _betrayed_ him. He didn't deserve pity.

"Yes, sire," the warlock whispered, and with a golden flash of eyes and a flick of his fingers, they were back in Camelot…

o.O.o

**Rain was pouring down, as lightning flashed and thunder boomed. A horse-drawn cage was clattering up the cobbled streets, driven by a portly man with a rather cruel-looking disposition.**

The Round Table found themselves standing in front of where the cage had stopped, the Sunshine Inn in the lower town.

**The man checked the padlocks on the cage, then leered at the girl inside, who was dressed in a torn-up red dress, shivering in the rain and flinching away from her captor. The slight tinkling of the manacles around her wrists moving was drowned out by the weather. After chuckling to himself, the man headed into the inn.**

Merlin only glanced at the girl briefly, then waited for the events to unfold.

**Their view switched to the inside of the inn, where Gaius was pressing a cloth to a different man's forehead as he lay in a small bed. Merlin stood by, at the ready. "If he's not better in the morning, let me know," Gaius said quietly to the woman waiting next to them. Merlin helped his mentor into a long blue cloak and they headed outside, into the rain. As they passed the cage, the girl grasped the bars and stared at the two men pleadingly, chains rattling. Merlin watched her, startled with a glint of sorrow in his eyes. The physician pulled him along and they left the cage behind.**

"**Gaius!" Merlin pointed out.**

"**She's fallen prey to a bounty hunter," the silvery-haired man explained.**

"**She's only a girl!"**

Arthur snorted. "Really, is she?" But his manservant did not reply with the usual banter. He just turned away and watched his younger self and the girl in the cage.

**Gaius sighed. "She'll still fetch a good price though."**

"**Someone's going to pay for her?" Merlin asked indignantly.**

"**Uther offers a handsome reward for anyone with magic." He started to continue up the streets, but his assistant wasn't as willing.**

**Merlin stood his ground stubbornly, saying, "There must be something we can do."**

"**Merlin, bounty hunters are dangerous men – they're not to be meddled with. You of all people should understand that." As the physician started walking yet again, the young warlock gazed at the girl inside the cage.**

Merlin choked a little. "I'll skip some." Not waiting to hear approval or dissent, he waved his hand and the world spun around them, coming to a stop briefly with Merlin tugging the girl away from a group of guards and hiding in the tunnels, giving her his leather jacket and telling her his name.

"**I'm Merlin, by the way," he said softly.**

**She shivered and wrapped her arms tighter around herself. "I'm Freya." Smiling, Merlin draped his jacket over her shoulders and the scene swirled again. "Freya," he whispered.**

"Merlin!" Gwaine protested. "You're making me dizzy. So… you freed her?" Merlin nodded but still refused to reply.

"**I'm sorry I took so long," Merlin panted, entering the small cave with a bundle of assorted food and a torch. Freya was wrapped up in his leather jacket in a corner, and stirred when he entered. "You must be hungry," he said lightly, handing her the bundle. She took it carefully but avoided eye contact. "What is it?" the warlock asked, concerned now.**

"**Nothing!" she shook her head.**

"**But you're upset," he pressed.**

"You two are so cute together!" Gwaine continued, but his friend didn't answer, simply turned his head away.

**She continued denying it, trying to hide the dried tear tracks down her face. "Did you think I wasn't coming?" Merlin observed. Freya tried to smile.**

"**I scare most people away."**

"**I'm not most people."**

They continued whirling through memories, faster than thought, settling on one scene or another, each one rendering the present Merlin closer and closer to tears.

**Merlin persuading Freya he'd smuggle her out of Camelot. She tried to refuse, telling him how dangerous it is, with the warlock eagerly announcing he'd promised he'd look after her, so he'd come with her. Her smile as they talked about living by a lake, with a field and a couple of cows. Laughing and joking.**

**A couple walking down the street, to be struck down by a strange monster.**

**A happy Merlin rambling on about supplies they'd need, holding Freya's shoulders as she smiled at him, encouraging him. Finally, a kiss.**

A loud sob from Merlin distracted the Round Table, and they turned to see the warlock frantically wiping his eyes and covering his sniffles as he gazed at himself and the one he loved.

"Merlin, what… _happened_ to Freya?" Elyan asked gently.

The manservant shook his head. "G-gone…" he whispered, then bit his sleeve as the tears streamed down his cheeks. Arthur didn't know what to say. Everything his father had taught him about magic, about _sorcerers_ like Merlin, told him to push away all pity. Magic corrupted, made people evil. Merlin was no exception. Was he? None of them had ever seen the normally goofy, cheerful Merlin reduced to this. It just wasn't _possible. _Merlin didn't get… unhappy.

**Merlin was packing, shoving it under the table as Gaius came in and warned him of the deaths in the Lower Town. Warning him of the cursed druid girl.**

**The one who, Merlin hadn't heard as he'd left the tunnel, had said goodbye in a tone that suggested forever. The one who he'd looked after, clothed and fed, hugged and loved, reassured and kissed. The one who would break his heart when she left forever.**

**Next, the scene showed Arthur and several knights facing off with a large black beast. Arthur stabbed it in the paw, as it yelped and staggered away to the courtyard. Merlin came racing in just in time to see his prince about to deal a death blow to the druid girl whose curse transformed her into a beast that killed, a kind human heart shackled by enchantments. Only to be released once morning came. Freya's now-green eyes locked with Merlin's, and in that instant his heart started to crack. But it didn't break, not yet – first he loosed a large stone gargoyle with magic, letting it crash down where Arthur had been a moment ago, distracting the prince and allowing Freya to leap into the sky and soar away on black feathered wings.**

**Racing into the tunnel, finding her dying.**

**Bringing her to a lake.**

"What lake is that?" Leon wondered. Merlin watched, silent waterfalls of tears making their way down his cheeks and over his clenched jaw.

"The Lake of Avalon," the warlock said in answer. The knights and Gwen gaped. The Lake of Avalon?

Arthur frowned. "Yeah, right. Mortals can only see the Lake of Avalon right before they die."

"Then maybe you should look up what my name means," his manservant snapped harshly, freezing the memory and looking out longingly at the gray water, his younger self holding a dying Freya in the midst of the raindrops that were now hanging in the air, forgotten and stopped for a moment.

"But… a merlin is a kind of bird," Gwen mused.

"No, that other name. Emrys something-or-other?" Gwaine guessed. Merlin nodded.

"That is what the druids call me. _Emrys _means _immortal_ in their language."

"So you're…" Leon stepped back a little. "Immortal?"

Merlin didn't answer, just started the memory again.

"**You remembered…" Freya whispered, smiling at the lake as Merlin shook her slightly in his arms.**

**He tried to grin. "Of course." He seemed to work over something in his head. "I am… so sorry for what that sorcerer did to you."**

"**Merlin, you have nothing to be sorry for," she said softly.**

"**There must be something I can do, some way to save you!" he said desperately.**

**She shook her head, despite the obvious effort it was costing her. "You've already saved me. You made me feel loved." Merlin's face began to scrunch as he suppressed with all his willpower the tears that were imminent.**

"**I don't want you to go," he choked.**

**Freya just smiled. "One day, Merlin… I will repay you. I promise." Then her head drooped slightly and her eyes closed, forever. Merlin shook his head, breathing heavily, finally letting the tears go.**

"**F-Freya…" he whispered. No answer. With a choked gasp, he hugged her tightly, sobbing, not noticing that the rain had stopped around him. He made a boat, laid her in it, and covered her with flowers. As he watched it drifting only a few feet from shore, the heartbroken warlock raised one hand and whispered, "Astíre." The boat was pushed out, sailing away, when with a final tortured sob Merlin's eyes flashed gold and flames leapt from the wood, consuming the flowers and what had remained of his true love – his lady of the lake.**

"I'm so sorry," Gwen whispered, looking stricken. The memory stopped for a moment, then swirled to show Arthur's chambers. Merlin seemed to be losing control slightly, as it paused on this particular scene for only a moment.

**Merlin was polishing a boot, only barely paying attention to anything around him. He briefly glanced at the line of identical boots – probably fifteen pairs in all – waiting for their turn. After a moments more scrubbing, Arthur entered. "Ah, Merlin." He threw a goblet in the general direction and turned again. "I've been looking for you."**

"**Yeah, right, and you're gonna ask me to… polish your armour and, wash your clothes, and clean your room." Arthur just sat down next to him as he turned back to the boot he was scrubbing.**

"**Something's been upsetting you, hasn't it?"**

Merlin's lower lip trembled as the tears fell freely. Noticing, Gwen nudged him. "I think we've got the point of this memory, okay Merlin?" she whispered. He nodded and with another flash of his eyes the memory stopped and they were back in the Crystal Cave.

"I'm sorry, mate," Gwaine said softly, still staring at the wall. Merlin refused to answer and slouched down next to the wall, placing his head between his legs and wrapping his arms around himself. Nobody moved. Even Arthur seemed to understand the gravity of what had happened to his servant, and just focused on sorting out his own feelings. They went something along the lines of:

_Merlin is a… warlock? Whatever. He has magic._

_Magic is evil._

_You cannot trust sorcerers. Or warlocks, or whatever the hell they're called._

_Merlin isn't evil._

_But magic is evil._

_Can one really be born with magic?_

_What if… magic really _can_ be used for good? I've seen it save my life now, in the first memory._

_No, that was just a fluke. A spontaneous act of good. Merlin is still plotting to destroy you._

_WHAT? Merlin doesn't plot. He can't keep a secret to save his… well, maybe he can._

It went on like that, arguing between himself and trying to sort out what the _hell_ he was doing in the Crystal Cave even _listening_ to a magic user. His father had taught him all his life how magic was evil, seeking to destroy Camelot. Sure, he'd seen one or two instances where it had been used for good – Will creating the tornado and then taking the arrow for him being one of them – but still, magic corrupted, erasing all good within a person. Surely someone _born_ with magic would be more than just corrupted, perhaps the magic had taken them over? Made them _act_ good easily, with some sort of… magicky control? Or was it all just _Merlin_? Arthur groaned inwardly and thought, _my life was sooo much simpler before Merlin came into it._

Elyan interrupted his thoughts by asking, "Merlin… which memory are we going to watch next?"

"I'm gonna show Arthur he has nothing to fear from me," came the manservant's muffled reply (his head was still stuck between his legs). They assumed his eyes had glowed gold, for the crystals around them congealed once more, bonding together to show a new memory.

**A woman with pale skin, raven hair, and blood-red lips was swirling her hand around in a stone basin full of water, chanting strange words of the Old Religion. She took a petal from a small yellow flower and swished it back and forth in the clear liquid, still chanting. Her words changed briefly to encompass the word "Camelot" mixed in the strange words and syllables. The water blackened, then showed a picture of a manservant with a familiar neckerchief, holding up a set of armour to see if he'd polished it enough. The woman reached for the goblet and placed the now-clear petal on the lip of the inside, then raised it as if toasting someone who wasn't there.**

"_**Merlin."**_

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

**I know. I hate myself too. It's been SOOO long since I've updated blame it on Maui weather that kept me occupied ;)**

**See u hopefully much sooner for the next chapter!  
><strong>

**~DeaththeKidKat**


	3. the Poisoned Chalice

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Merlin. wish I did… Lancelot would have died in the fifth episode XD I never liked him. Too perfect. Got too much love. For the record, I never liked Gwen either. Again, too much love. Arthur, Lancelot, Merlin (although that didn't last long – phew, Freya's better for him anyway :P)… grr. __**Hands off my Merlin.**__ He's MINE to torture. O.o_

_Anywayyyyssss… here's to my favorite episode, the Poisoned Chalice!_

* * *

><p>"Why do you keep skipping around, anyway?" Arthur asked his manservant irritably. Merlin shrugged, face buried between his knees.<p>

"Watch the memory, prat."

**The scene showed the road to Camelot. A long line of horses and wagons, carrying many people, trotted into the great citadel. Then it switched in a disorienting fashion to the throne room. A line of people, all garbed in Camelot red, advanced dramatically in an arrowhead formation. On the other side, entering the room, marched an equal line clad in blue. Both stopped when the leaders at the head of the triangle were a few feet away from each other. Uther and the visiting king eyed each other for a moment.**

"**Camelot welcomes you, Lord Bayard of Mercier," Uther announced, albeit a little coldly. A rather **_**familiar **_**looking 'serving girl,' otherwise known as Nimueh, watched from near the end of the blue platoon.**

Arthur started a little. "Hey, I remember this one... isn't this the one where you get poisoned?"

"Merlin gets poisoned?" Gwaine exclaimed.

"Shut up, both of you!" came the annoyed reply. Merlin's head lifted slightly. "Yes, Arthur, you are correct for once, and yes, Gwaine, I _did _get poisoned. Now watch it."

"**The treaty we sign today marks an end to war…" the king of Camelot droned on. Nimueh openly glared at Merlin, who was watching Uther, blissfully ignorant. "… and a beginning to a new friendship between our people." Then he and Bayard shook hands. The rest of the room began to clap.**

**Once again the scene changed, showing a long hallway crowded with servants and courtiers alike. Among them was Merlin, carrying an overflowing basket of laundry. He stopped as he drew even with Gaius, who was going the other way.**

"**Why do I always get loaded with the donkey work?" Merlin grumbled.**

"**You're a servant, Merlin!" Gaius replied cheerfully, an undisguised grin on his face.**

"Really?" Gwaine exclaimed sarcastically. "I had no idea!"

**The physician continued. "It's what you do."**

"**My arms will be a foot long by the time I get this lot inside!" the servant complained.**

"**It's character building," Gaius reassured him, still grinning. "As the old proverb says, hard work reaps…" he paused, hesitating. "Er, a harder soul." Merlin just stared at him, a smile slowly working its way onto his face.**

Gwaine, Elyan, Percival, and Gwen all burst out laughing. "That's definitely not a proverb, Gaius made that up!" Elyan scoffed.

"**There is no way that's a proverb, you just made that up," Merlin said triumphantly.**

The present Merlin shivered. "Sheesh, Elyan, that's creepy…"

**Nimueh – disguised as a servant – walked up in between the pair and stumbled to her knees, dropping her load just as Gaius protested, "I didn't-"**

"**Sorry," she apologized, clearly fake.**

**Merlin crouched down next to her, helping her gather up the pillows she was carrying. "It's all right."**

"**Excuse me," she continued.**

"**Let me give you a hand with that," Merlin added, giving a pointed look to Gaius. He stared at her for a moment, clearly enthralled.**

"Merlin, mate, you had a crush on the woman trying to kill you?" Gwaine teased. "Even _I _know better than that."

The boy pouted. "Hey, I didn't exactly know who she was." Then he added in a lower voice, only barely intelligible. "Besides, she was pretty…" Once again, the knights started laughing.

**The two 'servants' stood up in unison, still eyeing each other. "Hi," Merlin said lamely, Gaius watching in the background. "I'm Merlin." He held out his hand.**

"**Cara." She shook it. "Your Arthur's servant, it much be such an honor," she coaxed sweetly.**

Arthur snorted. "If your answer was what I think it was…" Merlin's ears burned bright red, and he buried his face in his knees again.

"**Oh, yeah, it is," the manservant enthused absentmindedly. Gaius raised an eyebrow from behind 'Cara.' "Um, someone's got to keep the place running," he tried to comment seriously, still holding one of the pillows.**

Finally Arthur cracked up, followed by the knights and even Gwen. Merlin was left to shrink against his rock wall, ears still red, feeling the sudden urge to make soap bubbles come out of his friends mouths. "Keep… the place… running…" Arthur wheezed. "Real honor to be my servant, huh? Well, once we get back to Camelot, I've got a whole _list_ of chores that are just _begging _to be done by none other than the legendary manservant Merlin. He loves hard work, you see…"

Yes, soap bubbles were looking like a great idea.

**Gaius crossed his arms behind Cara with a smirk. Merlin stared him down for a moment before turning back to Nimueh/Cara. "Thank you Merlin," she complimented, then waited for a moment. Merlin just stared blankly before noticing the pillow in his hands. Stammering for a moment, he handed it to her then gazed openly at her back as she walked off.**

"**Shouldn't you be busy running the place?" Gaius interjected, smiling smugly at his ward. Then he chuckled before meandering on down the hallway. Merlin shot him a look.**

Merlin wondered briefly how one _would _go about changing one's sounds into soap bubbles as more guffaws reached his ears.

**The scene flashed to show a guard walking down a flight of stairs. The darkness outside showed everyone was probably long in bed. Nimueh/Cara peeked around a pillar, waiting for the guard to pass. Then it showed her turning the corner into a hallway, holding a small bundle. Glancing around, she tried to open one of the wooden doors, only to find it was locked. Looking on all sides again, she narrowed her eyes at the handle and whispered a spell, pushing the door open easily. She paused, then closed the door behind her and strode over to a small table. Setting down her bundle, the sorceress opened a small wooden box to reveal two silver goblets. Taking out the smaller one, she replaced it with an identical goblet… that appeared to be the one she'd placed a petal in earlier. Closing the box, she smirked…**

**Then the scene changed to Merlin slamming a bundle of clothes down on a wooden table. Sunlight streamed into the room, showing it was once again daytime. Gagging slightly, he released the garments quickly. "Uah… when was the last time these were cleaned?"**

**Arthur, standing behind him, thought for a second. "Last year sometime? Before the feast of Beltain."**

"Oh, God, Arthur!" Gwen bit out. "That's disgusting!" Her husband looked sheepish.

"They were _not_ fun to wash, let me tell you," Merlin muttered.

"**Did it end in a food fight?" Merlin remarked, face scrunched up in disgust as he took the red jacket over to Arthur and started to help him into it.**

"**Don't all feasts?" Arthur quipped.**

"**I wouldn't know," his manservant pointed out. "The airs and graces of the court are a mystery to me."**

**Arthur inspected his shoulder. "Tonight they won't be."**

**Merlin stopped and stared at him incredulously. "I'm going to be at the banquet?"**

"**Not quite," the prince added, starting to take the jacket off again. "You'll be there to make sure my cup doesn't run dry. If I have to sit through Bayard's boring speeches, I don't see why you should get out of it." He dumped the clothing in Merlin's arms. "Be sure to polish the buttons." Then he disappeared behind the wooden screen. "Do you want to see what you'll be wearing tonight?"**

**Merlin glanced down at himself. "Won't this do?"**

Gwen shook her head in mock dismay. "Oh, Merlin. You do know that that jacket is probably way past its prime?" The manservant rolled his eyes.

"**No." Arthur smiled smugly. "Tonight, you'll be wearing the official ceremonial robes of the servants of Camelot." Merlin seemed a bit pleased at this, until the prince returned from behind the screen and held up something that the present Round Table watching couldn't quite see. Merlin gave Arthur his best 'oh-no-you-don't' look, but the prince just grinned.**

"**You can't be serious," the manservant said.**

**It cut to a picture of Bayard dipping a feather quill in ink and signing some unseen piece of paper – the peace treaty. Then it showed Merlin standing by the side of the room wearing red robes with the Camelot golden dragon and a **_**ridiculous**_** feather hat. Gwen, standing beside him, snorted and smiled. "Nice hat."**

Once again, bellows of mirth echoed through the Crystal Cave. _What was that spell again? _Merlin wondered. _Something like… ah yes, I almost remember it… I swear, one more outburst and I'm going to let loose._

**Merlin nodded. "Thanks." Then he turned to glare at Arthur, who just beamed at him. The warlock shook his head, but his prince just raised his eyebrows then continued watching his father sign the treaty. Nimueh/Cara, standing off to the side, looked at Merlin for a moment, who promptly removed his hat.**

"**She's pretty, isn't she?" Gwen commented. Merlin ruffled his hair and smiled dreamily. "For a handmaid, I mean," the dark-skinned woman continued.**

"Jeaaaaa-lous," Gwaine said in a sing-song voice. Gwen smacked him over the head.

"**She's pretty for a princess, let alone a handmaid," the manservant corrected her. Nimueh/Cara didn't look at him, just watched the two kings. Gwen looked slightly put out.**

"I hate to say it, but Gwaine's right," Arthur remarked sourly. The knight grinned but got smacked over the head by Gwen, Arthur, and a flying apple (courtesy of Merlin's magic. He opted to wait for the soap bubble thing – for now…).

**Uther and Bayard shook hands, and the rest of the room stood and clapped once more. Gwen left Merlin's side, leaving the servant slightly confused, and moved over to the other side of the room as Uther took his seat. "People of Camelot," Bayard began. "For many years our people have been mortal enemies. The blood of our men stains the ground from the walls of Camelot to the gates of Mercier. And though we remember those who have died…" the king droned on. Nimueh/Cara watched with a rather hungry expression as another serving girl passed, carrying the wooden box that contained the two ceremonial goblets, one of them poisoned.**

**Nimueh/Cara put on her best worried face as she appeared at Merlin's side and whispered urgently, "Merlin, I need to speak with you."**

"**What is it?" he asked, bemused.**

"**Not here, please," she pleaded. "I don't know who else to tell."**

Leon snorted. "Naturally, having met you exactly _once _makes you the most important person she could tell. Didn't you find this the _slightest _bit suspicious, Merlin?"

The manservant opened his mouth, about to spring to his own defense, when Arthur jumped in. "She's pretty for a princess," the king mocked, imitating Merlin's higher voice. He was clobbered over the head (none too gently) by another flying apple.

**Gaius watched his ward leave with the mysterious handmaiden. Out in the hallway, she cornered Merlin and began to speak in a fast, hushed whisper. "It wasn't until I saw him give the goblet to Arthur when I realized-"**

"**Woah, slow down, start from the beginning," Merlin tried to placate her, holding up his hands.**

**She took a deep (fake) breath. "Two days ago I was bringing Bayard his evening meal. I was supposed to knock, he didn't even expect me to walk in-"**

**"It's all right," Merlin soothed.**

"**If he knows I said anything," Nimueh/Cara began to tear up.**

Arthur threw his hands up in the air. "God, Merlin, I can barely stand to watch this! How did you _not_ know what the hell was going on? Oh, wait, I know…"

He and Gwaine sang in unison – still high pitched – "She's pretty for a prin-"

At this moment the last syllable of 'princess' came out as a soap bubble. Reaching up, the bubbles drifted over to Merlin's palm, where he popped them. "-cess!" came the last bit of the sentence. Frowning, Arthur tried to tell off his manservant, but again all that came out was a soap bubble. Finding this highly amusing, Merlin popped it again. "Merlin! Release us from this spell _at once!_"

"No," the warlock said cheekily. "Now watch the memory. I'm not popping any more bubbles."

"**He will kill me!" the maid finished.**

"**I won't let that happen to you, I promise," Merlin said earnestly. "Please tell me what you saw."**

"**Bayard is no friend of Camelot," she said gravely. "He craves the kingdom for himself!"**

"No, you do," Leon corrected her. Several dozen soap bubbles floated to the ceiling, where they popped on the sharp crystals. Bits and pieces of Arthur and Gwaine's voice drifted about, echoing around the cavern.

"_Mer_lin, I swear-"

"Mate, I love your sense of humor but-"

"-mucking out my stables-"

"-conjure up some ale-"

"-if you don't release us-"

"-not that funny-"

"-lovely to have a drink-"

"-I will make your life a living hell."

"-no one can listen to me sing!"

"-for an entire week."

Merlin burst out laughing.

"**Tell me…" Merlin pressed. "What has Bayard done with the goblet?"**

**Nimueh/Cara continued intensely. "He believes if Arthur is killed Uther's spirit will be broken and Camelot will fall-"**

"**What has he done with the goblet?"**

"**I saw him put something in it!"  
><strong>

"**What?"**

"**I shouldn't, he'll kill me!" she half-sobbed.**

**Merlin leaned forward slightly. "Please tell me! … was it poison?"**

**Slowly, she nodded. Merlin turned and raced back in the direction of the throne room, too late to see the smirk spreading across Nimueh's face.**

"… **and may the differences from our past remain there. To your health, Uther." Bayard raise his own goblet as the knights arranged on either side of the room stood. "Arthur." The prince smiled and raised his (poisoned) goblet, and was about to drink when Bayard interrupted. "The Lady Morgana." Her lips turned upwards slightly. Arthur looked slightly frustrated. "The people of Camelot!" He started to sip from the silver goblet again, when his father interrupted.**

"**The fallen warriors on both sides," Uther finished. Arthur almost rolled his eyes. Finally about to drink, he was stopped **_**yet again. **_**This time by Merlin.**

"**Stop!" his manservant cried, bursting into the throne room. "Arthur, don't drink it!"**

Gwen whimpered. "Oh, no…"

**Merlin grabbed the goblet and moved around to the front of the table. "What?" Uther asked dangerously. **

"**Merlin, **_**what**_** are you doing?" Arthur asked angrily. **_**So close to **__**finally**__** getting a sip…**_

The present people watching were startled to hear someone's thoughts. Merlin frowned. "Hmm, I guess I wasn't paying attention when I cast that part of the spell.

Arthur let loose another bubble, which his manservant popped, exasperated.

"Merlin, so help me God, release us from this spell _now._" The boy pouted but agreed, eyes flashing gold – stopping the memory they were watching too – and let Arthur and Gwaine free.

"I'll have to remember that one," the manservant said happily, and ducked when his apple came flying back to its creator.

**Nimueh/Cara slowly watched from behind a pillar. "Bayard laced Arthur's goblet with poison," the manservant announced.**

"**This is an outrage!" Bayard hissed, drawing his sword. His knights, and Camelot's knights, followed suit.**

"**Order your men to put down their swords!" Uther said calmly. "You are outnumbered." Several more guards raced into the room, surrounding Bayard. He hesitated a moment, glaring at Merlin and the king.**

"**I will not allow this insult to go unchallenged!" he spat. Merlin glanced at him, slightly nervous.**

**Uther leaned forward. "On what grounds do you base this accusation?"**

"**Father," Arthur interrupted, moving around the table to stand next to his servant. "Listen, Merlin, you **_**idiot, **_**have you been at the gin again?"**

**Narrowing his eyes, the king threatened, "Unless you want to be strung up, you will tell me why you think it's poisoned, now."**

**Opening his mouth, Merlin began, "He was seen-"**

"**By whom?" Uther said in a low, dangerous voice.**

"**I can't say," Merlin said awkwardly. Nimueh smirked in the corner. Bayard kept his sword up.**

"**I won't listen to this anymore," the king of Mercier growled.**

**Uther walked around the table. "Pass me the goblet." Arthur handed it to his father. The king gazed at the cup for a moment. **_**Should I really believe this **__**servant**__**? **_**"Are you telling the truth?"**

"Again…" Merlin groaned. "Do you want me to fix it or do you care?" The others shrugged, so they went back to watching the memory. Arthur found himself mouthing the words along with what the people he was watching were saying – he'd replayed this moment so many times in his own mind, it was almost second nature. He caught himself and closed his jaw with a snap, hoping nobody had noticed.

"**I am," Bayard lifted his chin.**

**Uther considered for a moment. "Then you have nothing to fear." Bayard nodded and sheathed his swords as the guards lifted their pikes away. Then he reached out his hand for the goblet. The king of Camelot shook his head. "No. If this does prove to be poisoned, I will have the pleasure of killing you myself." He turned and held it out to Merlin. "He'll drink."**

**Arthur stepped forward. "But if it is poison, he'll die!" the prince protested.**

**Nimueh smirked. Again. Damn, she was turning into Morgana. "Then we'll know he was telling the truth," Uther challenged his son. Merlin took the goblet carefully.**

"**And what if he lives?" Bayard shot back.**

"**Then you have my apologies." Uther watched the secret warlock closely. "You can do with him as you will."**

**Gaius spoke up. "Uther, please, he's just a boy! He doesn't know what he's saying!"**

The present Round Table fell silent. "Wait, you weren't kidding were you?" Gwaine whispered. "You really were poisoned? Because you drank for Princess?" Arthur glared at him. "Ahem, sorry, _Queen_?" Merlin nodded.

"**Then you should have schooled him better," the king dismissed.**

"**Merlin, apologize! This is a mistake! I'll drink it!" Arthur scolded. But when he reached for the cup, Merlin held it away from him, repeating "No" several times.**

**Nimueh watched, waiting happily like a tiger waits for a deer to fall into it's trap. "It's alright," the manservant reassured him. Bayard crossed his arms with a calculating expression. Merlin raised the cup, toasting him, then turned and did the same to Uther. Gaius gripped the back of someone's chair as Arthur watched, horrified, and Nimueh lifted her head.**

"And _still_ nobody notices her…" Elyan muttered.

"She was hiding," Percival pointed out.

His fellow knight scoffed. "She was half showing behind a stone pillar."

**Lifting the goblet, Merlin took several shaky sips. Gwen started to move forward but stopped. As he lowered the cup, Arthur's wide-eyed gaze bored into his servant. For a moment all was still, then…**

"**It's fine," Merlin choked out. Several sighs echoed through the room and Uther waved a hand dismissively.**

"**He's all yours." Gwen sighed and looked away, while the king sat down. Nimueh's glare intensified. **_**And… now.**_

Most of the Round Table shivered. "Okay, my father's thoughts I can handle, my thoughts I can handle, Merlin's thoughts I can handle, but hers… that's just creepy," Arthur murmured.

**Merlin put a hand to his throat, making an uncomfortable swallowing sound. Starting to choke, his eyes screwed tighter shut, until with a final cough he crumpled to the floor, the goblet rolling away from his limp hand. Arthur turned as if in slow motion, horrified, and dropped to his knees beside the servant. Nimueh, with a now-triumphant smirk, turned and left. Gaius watched, startled, while the guards, knights, Uther, and even Morgana unsheathed weapons close behind Bayard and his entourage. "It's poison!" Uther said, slightly surprised. "Guards, seize them!" Mercier's king surveyed the guards surrounding him, one hand held up in the air. He'd lost.**

**Arthur was joined by Gaius. "Merlin! Can you hear me?" the old physician said hopefully. No answer. He looked at the prince. "We have to get him back to my chambers. Bring the goblet, I need to identify the poison." Arthur picked up the manservant while Gwen grabbed the silver cup. All four left quickly.**

"Damn, how are you still alive?" Gwaine yelled. This earned him several sour looks from Merlin, Arthur, and Gwen. "What?" he added meekly. Another flying apple hit his head. _[A/N: what is it with me and flying apples? XD]_

**The scene changed to Gaius' chambers, where Arthur was toting a unresponsive Merlin over one shoulder. "Lay him on the bed quickly. He's struggling to breathe," Gaius ordered. Arthur complied, setting down the manservant on Gaius' small white cot. "Gwen, fetch me some water and a towel."**

"**Is he going to be alright?" Arthur asked impatiently, trying to arrange Merlin's floppy arms and head.**

"You care!" Merlin teased. "And was I really that… er, floppy?"

"No and yes," the king growled.

"**He's burning up," Gaius frowned.**

**Gwen hurried over with a bowl of water and a handtowel. "You can heal him, can't you, Gaius?"**

"**I won't know until I can identify the poison. Pass me the goblet." The physician started to dab at his ward's forehead with the wet towel. Gwen passed him the ornate silver cup. Inspecting it for a moment, Gaius stood up and walked over towards his books. "There's something stuck on the inside…"**

**Arthur stood up and followed, while Gwen took over on wetting the manservant's forehead. "What is it?"**

"**It looks like a flower petal of some kind…" Gaius mused, plucking out the clear scrap of plant material.**

"**His brow's on fire," Gwen announced anxiously, trying desperately to cool down the poisoned warlock.**

Merlin whistled. "Wow, that's not good. This is rather fun." Several sharp looks were shot his direction. _He thinks it's fun watching himself slowly dying of poison? _Leon thought incredulously.

"**Keep him cool, it'll help control his fever," Gaius told her, turning and setting down the petal still clasped in the tongs. Removing a thick book from his shelf, he set it down heavily on the table and leafed through the pages quickly. "Ah, the petal comes from the Morteus flower," he pointed at a picture, "It says here that someone poisoned by the Morteus can only be saved by a potion made from the leaf… of the very same flower. They're only to be found in the caves deep beneath the forest of Balor. The flower grows on the roots of the Morteus tree."**

**Arthur pointed to a picture of some beast that closely resembled a Kimodo dragon. "That doesn't look particularly friendly."**

"**Cockatrice," Gaius explained. "It's venom is potent – a single drop would mean certain death. Few who have crossed the mountains of Isgaard in search of the Morteus flower… have made it back alive." Arthur gazed at Merlin, turning restlessly on the bed, face scrunched up in obvious pain. Gwen looked increasingly nervous as she wetted the towel again and again.**

**Arthur thought for a moment, then seemed to make a decision. "Sounds like fun," he said tersely.**

"Sire!" Leon exclaimed.

"Fun?" Merlin yelped.

"I wanna fight a cockatrice!" Gwaine giggled. Everyone looked at him suspiciously.

"Gwaine…" Merlin said slowly. "Did you sneak a flask of the ale I conjured earlier?" The knight whistled fake-innocently and avoided his best friend's gaze.

"**Arthur, it's too dangerous!" Gaius told him.**

"**If I don't get the antidote, what happens to Merlin?" the prince argued. Gaius hesitated for a moment.**

**Glancing at his ward, the old man said haltlingly, "The Morteus juice is a slow and painful death. He may hold out for four, maybe five days but not much longer. Eventually, he will die." Both of them looked at the struggling Merlin, then Arthur made up his mind and strode out the door.**

**Suddenly they were watching Nimueh almost prancing down the corridor, dressed in a long light blue cloak and her serving clothes.**

Merlin groaned. "Doesn't anybody ever notice, wearing a cloak isn't going to magically conceal you from everything? Especially if it's a _bright _color?"

**The clatter of hooves on cobblestone sounded as Nimueh rode out of Camelot on a white horse. The guards at the drawbridge glanced at her but didn't seem to care.**

"**My lady, I am so sorry I haven't been here to attend to you," Gwen apologized profusely, walking swiftly into Morgana's chambers. The raven-haired woman was taking pins out of her hair.**

**Smiling, she reassured her maidservant. "Don't worry, I'm alright. How's Merlin?"**

**Gwen sighed. "If Arthur comes back with the antidote in time, he'll be fine."**

"**Then he'll be fine. You should be with him," Morgana pointed out. "I'll manage. I know what he means to you. Go."**

"**Thank you," Gwen curtsied and left.**

"It's so sad… seeing her like this," Gwen said mournfully. "She used to be so kind and caring. And now…"

Merlin nodded, sad. Then he tried to lighten things up. "Hey, wait, I'm supposed to be getting sympathy! I'm dying, see?" He pointed at the screen, then faltered as he realized it was now Uther walking purposefully down yet another corridor followed closely by Arthur.

"**What's the point of having someone taste for you if you're going to get yourself killed?" the king argued.**

**Arthur frowned and quickened his pace slightly. "I won't fail, no matter what you think!"**

"**Arthur, you are my only son and heir, I can't risk losing you for the sake of some serving boy."**

"**Because his life is worthless?"**

"**No, because it's worth less than yours!"**

"Ouch," Merlin muttered. "Guess he didn't know how many times I saved his bloody kingdom."

"**I can save him. Let me take some men. We'll find the antidote and bring it back!"**

"**No!"**

"**Why not?"**

"**Because one day I will be dead and Camelot will need a king. I'm not going to let you jeopardize the safety of this kingdom for some fool's errand."**

Merlin's gaze lowered. "He did have a point, Arthur. Not that I _didn't _want to be saved, but you could have gotten killed, and that wasn't the point of me drinking poison for you in the first place." Arthur opened his mouth to protest, but the warlock raised his hand. "No, listen. If you e-ever… find yourself in _that_ kind of situation again, whether I be poisoned or wounded, you are not to sacrifice yourself for me. And I will not accept any argument."

**Arthur glowered heavily. "It's not a fool's errand! Gaius says that if we get the-"**

"**Gaius says, and that's exactly what makes it so!"**

"Sheesh, he didn't have much faith in his physician back then did he?" Gwen tried to deviate the conversation from the topic of Merlin's death.

"**Please, father." Arthur's voice had grown somber. "He saved my life. I can't stand by and watch him die."**

**Uther turned to glance at his son. "Then don't look. This boy won't be the last to die on your behalf. You're going to be king – it's something you're going to have to get used to."**

"**I can't accept that."**

"**You're ****not**** going!"**

"**You can't stop me!"**

**"Damnit, Arthur, that's an end to it! You're not leaving this castle tonight!"**

**This time Arthur didn't argue, just stared, unbelievably frustrated at the wall. Next the crystals showed the doors to his chambers opening and the blonde prince throwing his sword angrily on the table, then leaning with his hands against the mantle above his fireplace, glaring into the flames.**

**Morgana appeared in his doorway. "Say what you like about the food, but you can't beat our feast for entertainment."**

"Even back then she had a twisted sense of humor…" Elyan muttered. "Wow."

**Arthur glanced around. "Morgana, I'm sorry, I should have made sure you were alright."**

"**Disappointed, actually. I was looking forward to clumping a few around the head with a ladle."**

Merlin, Gwen, and Gwaine started laughing. "I bet she would've!" Gwen joked. "That's the old Morgana I knew."

"**I'm sure the guards could've handled Bayard and his men."**

"**Yeah, but why let the boys have all the fun?"**

"**Morgana, you shouldn't get involved, it's dangerous."**

"**Spare me the lecture, I've already had it from Uther!"**

"**If it's any consolation… you weren't the only one."**

"**Not that I listen to him." She lifted her chin. "Sometime's you've got to do what you think is right, damn the consequences!"**

"Definitely Morgana," Arthur murmured.

"**You think I should go."**

"**It doesn't matter what I think."**

"**If I don't make it back, who will be the next king of Camelot?" he pointed out.**

Several pairs of eyes rolled. "She will," Gwaine, Elyan, Merlin, and Leon chorused.

**The blonde prince continued arguing. "There's more than just my life at stake!"**

"**And what kind of king would Camelot want?" she countered. "One who would risk his life to save that of a lowly servant?" She drew his sword from its sheath on the table and held it out to him. "Or one who does what his father tells him to?" Arthur just gazed at her for a moment, and the scene switched to show the gates of Camelot. The guards tried to stop him, crying "Halt!", but Arthur swept past them. Then it showed Nimueh watching the proceedings through her stone basin filled with water.**

"It's unfair, they always know exactly what we're doing because of those stupid scrying spells!" Merlin complained. Arthur socked him on the shoulder.

"**He's getting hotter," Gwen fretted, patting the feverish Merlin's head with a towel. He began to whisper words in his sleep, gibberish that made the kind maid pause and lift the towel from his forehead. "What language is that?"**

**Gaius looked at her carefully before saying, "None. The fever's taken hold, none of those words are his own. His pulse is weaker." The physician dropped his ward's hand. Then he leaned forward again, noticing something, and pulling down the warlock's sleeve to show a circular rash on his inner forearm.**

"**What is it?" Gwen asked.**

"**Can't be…" he muttered. "The rash is not supposed to appear until the final stage."**

"**What does that mean?" she prodded anxiously.**

"It means Merlin's about to die!" Gwaine announced dramatically. Said warlock shot him a dirty look. "What?" the knight pouted. "We all know you live, happy ending, all that!"

**Gaius peered through the book he'd consulted the night before. "It says here that as soon as the rash appears, death will fall within two days."**

"**You said he had four days," Gwen pressed.**

"**Something's increased the flower's potency," he concluded.**

"Magic, duh, Nimueh, you know all this," Merlin sighed. His eyes flashed golden and time skipped a little, whirling around in a dizzying fashion before settling on Arthur leading his horse by the reins through a misty forest.

**Merlin started to tremble, still muttering strange words that were actually from the Old Religion. Back in the forest, hissing and a growl preceded the quick flash of eerie yellow eyes in the shadows and a flickering forked tongue. Then there was a woman sitting on a log – Nimueh, fake crying and wearing her torn crimson dress. Arthur walked up to her. "Hello? Are you alright?" A screech interrupted him, making the prince spin around to see the cockatrice standing at the top of a small rise. "Stay back!" Arthur warned, drawing his sword. He stabbed and sliced at the thing, then ducked under it when it leaped. Jumping back to his feet, he flung the blade, killing the cockatrice. Nimueh, naturally, looked rather disappointed, but she put her scared face back on when Arthur turned towards her, backing up as though she was frightened of the blonde noble. "It's alright!" he assured her. "I won't hurt you. Who did that to you?" he gestured at the scratches on her shoulder.**

Merlin pouted. "And you all blame me for falling for her tricks so easily! Arthur just _has _to rescue a damsel in distress. He's worse."

"**My master," she admitted. "I ran away from him, but then I got lost. Please don't leave me!" she begged.**

"**I won't, I'm not going to," he promised.**

**She looked hopeful. "You can take me away from here?"**

"**Not yet. There's something I have to do first."**

**Nimueh smirked slightly at the sight of a cave hidden in the rock face behind them. "Why have you come to the caves?"**

"**I'm looking for something. It can only be found here."**

"**What is it? I know this place… I could help you."**

"So… her story is that she's lost, yet she knows the place?" Gwaine surmised skeptically. "Wow, Princess. How did you fall for that one?" Merlin skipped ahead a little before the king could answer.

**Merlin thrashed slightly in his bed. "Arthur, it's a trap… it's a trap…" this was followed by more Old Religion. Gaius sent Gwen to find some more water, and scooted closer to the warlock.**

"**Merlin, you must fight it!" he ordered. For a second the warlock's eyes opened, to show Nimueh holding a torch, leading Arthur into a cave. She pointed at a far wall, naming the flower, and the prince began to slowly walk out onto a spur of rock when she chanted a spell and it shattered, making him drop the torch and cling to the far wall for dear life. After killing some deadly spider, she congratulated and left with a few dramatic last words.**

"**I'll let his friends finish you off, Arthur Pendragon. It was never your destiny to die at my hands."**

**The scene cut to Merlin again, whose eyes were once again screwed shut tight. "Arthur… it's too dark… too dark…" Suddenly he muttered a spell. "****Fromum feohgiftum on fæder bearme. Fromum feohgiftum." Gaius pulled back the blankets slightly.**

"**Merlin… what are you doing?" he asked. Cupped in the warlock's hand was a strange silvery swirled ball of bluish light.**

Arthur visibly paled and stumbled back. "It was you!" he gasped. Merlin just smiled sadly and whispered the same spell. An identical ball of light flared to life in his hand. "You were the one who first made me think magic couldn't be all bad," the king admitted. His manservant beamed at this. His destiny was finally starting to come true.

**As Arthur struggled to cling on to the ledge, a larger version of the ball of light drifted up past him. "Come on then! What are you waiting for?" he yelled. "Finish me off!" But it did no such thing. With supreme effort, the prince managed to heave himself up onto the ledge, retrieving his sword and readying it, but sheathed it again. The light drifted higher, illuminating the Morteus flowers. Arthur's gaze fixed on them.**

"**Leave them, Arthur!" Merlin cried.**

"You wanted him to let you die?" Gwaine admonished. Merlin shrugged.

"I couldn't let him die for me. Although I must say… I didn't know I said spells in my sleep."

"**Go, save yourself! Follow the light!" Merlin ordered, as back in the cave hundreds of spiders began climbing the stone walls. But he didn't listen, simply started to scale the walls himself. Inches away from reaching one of the flowers, Arthur watched desperately as the spiders drew closer. The light drifted around near his head, showing him the way out. Finally snatching a stalk, he stuffed it in a pouch at his belt and started to climb quickly, escaping the spiders that were close on his tail. Still the light didn't abandon him, simply lit up where the cave opening was then zooming out into the night sky. Arthur clambered out and spun, making sure no spiders were following him. Then he took off in the direction of his horse.**

**Slowly the light faded from Merlin's palm, and Gaius eyed his ward warily. The boy had fallen still again, too still.**

"Ack! You're not dead, are you?" Gwaine checked. Merlin laughed and shook his head, then grabbed his friend's hand and made him poke his shoulder.

"Not a ghost, see?"

"**Inform the King! Arthur has returned to Camelot!" a guard cried as Arthur clattered back through the gates on his horse. Six of them rushed forward and stood in the prince's way.**

"**What are you doing? Let me pass," Arthur ordered.**

**The guard drew his sword. "I'm sorry, Sire. You're under arrest, by order of the King."**

**It cut to Arthur standing in a cell, a livid Uther standing in the doorway. "You disobeyed me."**

"**Of course I did. A man's life was at stake. Do not let Merlin die because of something I did."**

Merlin fell quiet. "You really do care."

"Well, a half decent servant is hard to come by."

"Just you wait, prat."

"Cabbage head."

"Clotpole."

"Idiot."

"Dollop head."

"That's still a stupid insult."

"Exactly."

"SHUT UP!" Gwen yelled. "Just watch!" Both men grew silent instantly, with meek nervous glances at the Queen.

"**Why do you care so much? The boy is just a servant," Uther argued.**

"Now we know he's much more," Gwaine smirked.

"**He knew the danger he was putting himself in, and he knew what would happen if he drank from that goblet, but he did it anyway. He saved my life. There's more. There was a woman at the mountain. She knew I was there for the flower. I don't think it was Bayard who tried to poison me," Arthur countered, taking a step forward.**

"**Of course it was," Uther dismissed.**

**Arthur fumbled in the pouch at his belt and pulled out the Morteus flower. "Gaius knows what to do with it." Slowly the king took the flower. "Put me in the stocks a week, a month even, I don't care. Just make sure it gets to him. I'm begging you." For a moment, Uther was still, then he began to crush the flower in his fist. "NO!" Arthur cried, gazing in horror at his father's tight grip on the one thing that could save Merlin's life.**

"**You have to learn there's a right and a wrong way of doing things. I'll see you're let out in a week. Then you can find yourself another servant." Uther left, dropping the flower just outside Arthur's reach as the guards closed and locked the door. Nevertheless, the prince got on his knees and tried desperately to reach the small flower.**

Merlin winced. "Okay, that was harsh."

**This time it showed the physician's chambers. "He hasn't got much longer. Has Arthur got the flower?" the physician wondered anxiously.**

"**I don't know. Uther won't allow anyone to see him. Is there nothing we can do to help?" Gwen pleaded.**

"**Only the leaf of the Morteus flower can save him," Gaius said gravely.**

**Gwen thought for a moment. "And we have to find out if Arthur has it. I could sneak into the dungeon."**

"**That would be very dangerous," he pointed out.**

"**I've got to. Merlin will die if I won't."**

**Gaius sighed and gazed at Merlin, who was struggling to breathe. "Be careful."**

**Gwen walked down the stairway into the dungeon and approached the guard. "Food for the prisoner." He nodded and opened the cell door, letting the maid in. Arthur sat against the far wall, and glanced up as she entered.**

"**Set it down over there," he ordered. She put down the small plate she carried and retreated slightly. "Thank you," the prince said as he walked over to it and fiddled with it for a moment. She was about to leave when he announced, "Wait a minute." He puts down the plate and sits back down in his spot against the wall. I couldn't possibly eat this, it's disgusting. The state it's in, I'm not sure it's fit for **_**anyone.**_**" Gwen took the hint and retrieved the plate, smiling first at the yellow flower she saw concealed there, then at Arthur who studiously avoided her gaze.**

**Just as she was leaving, a guard stopped her. He walked up and picked over the pieces of bread and cheese, then chose one and started eating. "Waste not, want not, eh? We're not all as precious as our Royal Highness." She smiled and started to leave just as another serving girl came down the stairs carrying a plate and cup.**

"**Food for Prince Arthur," she announced. The guard yelled "Stay where you are!" as he looked up at Gwen, who dropped her plate and ran. Bursting back into Gaius' room, she hurried over to the cot where Merlin lay.**

"Damn, I look scary," Merlin commented.

"**How is he?" the maid asked.**

"**Have you got the Morteus?" Gaius replied. She handed it over with a quick "Here" and the old physician started grinding herbs and other items up, preparing the potion. "His breathing's much worse. We have to hurry." Suddenly he stopped, considering something.**

"**Why have you stopped?" Gwen asked.**

**He gazed at her, looking a tad bit apprehensive. "The poison was created using magic. We may need magic to make an antidote."**

Merlin yelped. "Then how did he heal me?" Gwen shrugged.

"**But we can't. It's forbidden. Even if we could," she pointed out nervously.**

"**I'll try and make it work without it. Oh, I need some fresh water." He handed her a bowl and she rushed out. Taking a deep breath, he looked around and then closed his eyes as he held the bowl with the potion in it tightly. "Sythan..." he paused for a moment.**

"Oh, no, Gaius…" Merlin moaned. Arthur raised an eyebrow, confused, but his jaw fell open as the physician continued his sentence.

"**Sythan arrest wearth feasceaft funden. Denum æfter dome. Dreamleas gebad he gewinnes longsum." The green liquid frothed and bubbled, and the physician looked down at it, looking agitated. Gwen rushed back in with the water. "Thank you," he said, pouring some potion into a vial filled with water.**

"Um… well… hey, at least he didn't do half the stuff I did," Merlin protested weakly. Arthur's gaze was unfocused. _I knew Gaius used to practice magic… but he promised my father he'd stopped… then again, I was willing to risk my life for Merlin too… no, don't think about that… but the light… sorcerers are evil… sorcerersmustdie… Merlinmustdie… WHAT? No. Wait. Merlin doesn't have to die. Neither does Gaius… but they both use magic… magicisevil magicmustdie…_

He was interrupted from his thoughts by the continuation of the memory in front of them.

"**Hold his nose," Gaius ordered. Gwen obliged and he started to pour the antidote into his wards mouth. "Swallow, Merlin. Swallow," he urged. After he was done both maid and physician sat back and watched. For a moment, the warlock breathed faintly, then fell still.**

**Too still.**

**Gwen said it, weakly. "He's stopped breathing. What's happening? Gaius?" Her voice grew panicked.**

**Gaius leaned forward and placed his ear to the manservant's chest, then sat up. "His heart has stopped," he said incredulously.**

**Both seemed unable to process this. "He's dead?" she whispered faintly.**

"**He can't be," Gaius denied it. "He can't **_**be.**_** It was his destiny…" He stood up, followed by Gwen.**

"**It's my fault," she sobbed. "If I'd have gotten here sooner. If I'd been quicker."**

**Gaius shook his head, hugging her as she started crying. "No, no. It was me. I should have looked after him better. It's my fault."**

Arthur found himself unable to reconcile the image of the evil, lying, destroying sorcerers he'd always thought them to be with the scene of the old grieving man and the dead warlock lying on the cot. Dead because he'd drunk poison. _For Arthur._ Magic… wasn't always evil, he supposed. But it still corrupted. It was only a matter of time. Perhaps Gaius had made it past that, but Merlin was bound to go the same way as Morgana sooner or later. Hecouldn'tbetrusted. Magicisevil.

But _evil_ didn't seem to even be able to come close to the dead manservant in the memory in front of him. He whirled on Merlin and prodded him. _Definitely not a ghost. Maybe he used magic…? To heal himself. Of course. Magicisselfishandevil magicmustdie Merlinmustdie but Merlinisn'tevil… is he?_

The warlock understood the poke, and ignored it.

**Gaius embraced Gwen tighter and kissed the top of her hair.**

Gwaine found himself trying to clutch Merlin's arm to him. _He's not dead now… but he was then. How is that possible?_

"**That's disgusting. You're old enough to be her grandfather, you should be ashamed of yourself!"**

Despite the somber mood, Percival couldn't keep a snort of laughter from escaping his lips. Only one person could have said that. The present Merlin grinned, in perfect imitation of the one in the memory in front of them.

**Physician and maid looked down, startled, at the bed. Merlin was sitting up, staring at them with a mock-horrified look. "Merlin! You're alive!" Gaius cried happily.**

"**No, I'm a ghost come back to haunt you," he joked.**

**Gwen rushed forward and kissed him.**

Merlin and Gwen flushed bright red and looked away from each other. "Her fault," the warlock mumbled as Arthur gave them both piercing glares. Gwaine sniggered and taunted his best friend, much to the manservant's dismay. Gwen refused to meet anybody's gaze.

"**I'm sorry. I thought you were dead," she apologized hurriedly.**

**Merlin looked a little stunned. "It's all right. It's more than all right."**

Gwaine wolf whistled, and got smacked by Gwen and hit by _another_ flying apple. Those things _hurt._ Well, both things.

"**Ah, what happened? Last thing I remember is drinking the wine…" Merlin trailed off. Gaius and Gwen exchanged a look.**

**Next the scene showed Gaius standing at the entrance to the throne room, where Uther and several knights were standing around a table looking at maps. "Sire, forgive the interruption, but may I speak with you?"**

**Uther dismissed him. "Not now."**

"**But, Your Highness, it is important."**

"**Word of Bayard's arrest has got back to Mercia. We're about to be attacked," he growled.**

"**I feel that what I have to tell you may have some bearing on your plans. Please, it will only take a moment," Gaius pressed. Uther sighed and stepped to the side, letting his knights take over the discussion. "I know who tried to poison Arthur."**

**The king started to walk back to the table. "So do I. He's locked in my dungeons."**

"**It wasn't Bayard. The poison was magical. And I'd recognise the hand that made it anywhere," Gaius glanced around, then added, "Nimueh."**

"**You must have been mistaken."**

"**I wish I was."**

"**It can't have been. We'd **_**know**_** her. That witch's face is not easily forgotten," Uther said angrily.**

"**She's a powerful sorceress. She can enchant the eye that beholds her. We never knew it was her."**

"**Have you any proof?"**

"**The poison used against Merlin was made more potent by the use of magic."**

Leon frowned. "Just because it was magic doesn't mean it was Nimueh. I mean, we know that now, but what Gaius is saying is a little sketchy." Merlin shushed him.

"**Are you saying that she conspired with Bayard to kill Arthur?" Uther asked suspiciously.**

"**No, Bayard is innocent. Look at what's happening. This is what she's wanted all along. A war to bring strife and misery to Camelot."**

**Uther turned back to his knights. "How long before Bayard's armies reach our walls?"**

**Sir Cador spoke up. "A day, maybe less. We should send our cavalry out to meet them." He glanced between the physician and the king.**

**Uther seemed to make up his mind. "Instruct your men not to leave Camelot until I give the word."**

"**Sire." Sir Cador bowed and left, followed by the other knights.**

"**You are making the right decision, Sire. Do you think Arthur should be told the truth about Nimueh?" Gaius asked softly. The scene changed again.**

"Wait, wait, wait," Arthur ordered. He glared at Merlin. "Morgause wasn't tricking me? She wasn't lying? My father really _did _use magic to conceive me?"

The warlock evaded the questions skillfully. "That's for another memory to answer."

**This time it was Arthur, Morgana, and Uther on the battlements of Camelot, watching as Bayard and his men left down the long path. "Alright, let the bragging begin. How did you manage it?" Morgana said wryly.**

**He hesitated. "I'm not sure. All I do know is I had help. Someone knew I was in trouble and sent a light to guide the way."**

"**Who?" she asked.**

"**I don't know. But whoever it was, I'm only here because of them," Arthur admitted.**

"Finally some credit!" Merlin grinned.

"**I'm glad you're back," Morgana admitted, smiling, then she left. Uther walked closer to where his son was standing.**

"**Arthur? The woman you met in the forest, what did she tell you?"**

"**Not much. She was too busy trying to get me killed. It was strange, though."**

"**In what way?"**

**Arthur considered a moment. "I was at her mercy. She could have finished me off, but she chose not to. She said it wasn't my **_**destiny**_** to die at her hand."**

**Uther stayed quiet, working something out in his head. "You must've been scared."**

"**Had it's moments."**

"**Those who practice magic know only evil. They despise and seek to destroy goodness wherever they find it. Which is why she wanted you dead. She is evil."**

_Is it possible my father was… wrong? _Arthur wondered.

"**Sounds as if you know her."**

"**I do. To know the heart of one sorcerer is to know them all. You did the right thing. Even though you were disobeying me. I'm proud of you, Arthur. Never forget that."**

_Then why… would Merlin drink poison for me?_

Merlin seemed to almost read his mind, for he said, "Your father was a great king in his own ways, but there were many things in which he was mistaken. Never forget _that._"

**The next day, Arthur entered Gaius' chambers to find Merlin with a blanket around his shoulders eating some bread. "Still alive then?"**

**His manservant looked around. "Oh. Yeah, just about. I understand I have you to thank for that."**

"**Yeah, well, it was nothing. A half decent servant is hard to come by. I was only dropping by to make sure you're alright. I expect you to be back to work tomorrow."**

"**Oh yeah, yeah of course, er, bright and early."**

**As the prince turned to leave, Merlin called after him, "Arthur? Thank you."**

**He hesitated. "You too. Get some rest."**

**After Arthur left, Gaius handed Merlin a bowl of soup. "Arthur may give you a hard time, but at heart he's a man of honour. There aren't many who'd have risk what he did for a servant."**

"He's right," Leon said quietly. "You are a better man than your father." Arthur didn't know how to respond to that.

"**It all would've been for nothing if you didn't know how to make the antidote."**

**Gaius ignored this. "Eat your dinner."**

"**I still don't understand why she went to all the trouble of framing Bayard. She could've just kept quiet and killed Arthur," the warlock pointed out.**

"**But destroying Arthur and Camelot wasn't all she was after. She knew you would be forced to drink that wine. It was you she wanted to kill. Seems someone else knows you're destined for great things, Merlin."**

**Nimueh watched Merlin in her stone basin as he seemed to stare straight through the water at her. In turn, the sorceress seemed to glare briefly at the members of the Round Table watching, until the memory faded to black.**

* * *

><p><em>Dear God. that took FOREVER. This one was - *drumroll* - 8,652 words, 21 pages on Microsoft Word, and a huge load of stress on me. -.-' let's hope the next one isn't as long… I must also offer my eternal gratitude to the amazing bluedragon.77, for directing me to the transcript on the Merlin wiki ^.^' writing these is going to be SO much easier now. Thank you, blueh! :D<em>

_Keep watch for the next chapter – the Fires of Idirsholas._

_**~DeaththeKidKat**_


	4. SO SORRY

**Well. So. You all have been favoriting and alerting this like crazy lately, and so there are a few things I would like to ask you.**

**a) WHY IS THIS SUDDENLY SO POPULAR?!**

**b) Do you really want me to continue this?**

**I technically have the next chapter almost done, except it's at home and I'm on the other side of the world right now... I suppose I could have my brother email it to me. :3**

**Anyways, so sorry for the months-long hiatus.**

**_Kat_**

_This is not for bumping my story up, this is purely to ask my readers what they think._


	5. The Fires of Idirsholas

_WOOT! I GOT IT DONE! IT IS FINISHED._

_So, who out there is thirsty for my blood? :D Never fear… um… TAKE HIM INSTEAD! *uses brother as human shield* No, really. Kill him if you want to. He annoys me. I wrote a long paragraph on how to- you know what, nevermind. Back to the story._

_First of all, I must apologize again muchly for the long hiatus. Lots of crap in my life -_- Plus I just got back from Germany. Anywho, I am back, and so is this story – but do expect very long breaks between updates, because the devil known as school has reentered our lives and is ruining mine. D:_

_In case you didn't see in the ending A/N in the last chapter, this episode is one you may like ;) *cue dramatic music*_

_the Fires of Idirsholas!_

* * *

><p>"Okay, so apparently I have 'nothing to fear from you,'" Arthur said harshly. "Now show me something that you <em>regret.<em>"

Merlin gazed at him mournfully. "This will do nothing for you, Arthur. I'll comply, but I'm warning you, a lot more rests on my shoulders than you'd think. The same goes for Morgana, and…" he hesitated, "Mordred. But we'll get to that later." A flash of golden eyes, and…

**They were standing on a grassy field, in front of a strange castle that was clearly falling into disrepair. Then they were suddenly looking at a cobweb-filled room, and a certain blonde sorceress pacing around it. Around a small disused fireplace stood seven dark, still figures. Morgause – the sorceress – began to chant.**

"**Cnihtas Medhires, éower sáwla sind min sáwla. Onwác and cóm hér eft. Rid eft ond forsliehð eft. Gehðu, Uther Pendragon!"**

"I know this one!" Arthur exclaimed. Merlin rolled his eyes.

**A fire flared up in the small bowl, and one by one the figures began to turn their heads to look at Morgause. She smirked, much like her sister.**

"Is it just me, or is that smirk stalking us?" Elyan asked off-handedly.

Merlin shuddered. "It's not just you. Must run in the family." Seeing the look on Arthur's face, he quickly shut up.

"**I'm a herder from the northern plains, Sire," a nervous looking man in ratty clothes began. "Three nights back, we were camped beneath the walls of Idirsholas."**

**Uther scoffed slightly. "Not sure I would have chosen such a place."**

Leon visibly shivered. "Many evil legends surround that castle. I suppose we're going to see them come true, eh?" Gwaine opened his mouth, about to ask, but Merlin raised his hand irritably.

**The herder, Joseph something or other, defended himself tentatively. "Good pasture is scarce at this time of year, Sire."**

"**And what is it you have to tell me?"**

"Uther was not a very considerate person," Gwen remarked sharply. Arthur started to protest, but she glared icily at him. "My father?" she said, coughing lightly.

"**While we were there we, we saw smoke rising from the citadel." Joseph looked terrified at the memory.**

**Gaius spoke up. "And did you see anything else?"**

"**No."**

**Uther almost rolled his eyes. "Did you go inside?"**

"Condescending, irritable, inconsiderate, doesn't listen, temperamental…" Merlin began to list, ticking off a finger for each one. Arthur threw a goblet at his head, hitting him dead on and ignoring his indignant yelp.

"**No. Nobody has stepped over that threshold for 300 years! You must know the legend, Sire," Joseph pointed out.**

"What legend?" Gwaine asked impatiently.

"It'll explain in a moment," Merlin soothed.

**Gaius spoke up again. "When the fires of Idirsholas burn, the knights of Medhir will ride again."**

Gwaine started to ask something again, but Merlin quickly lobbed a discarded apple at his head. The knight swore, then grinned at his friend. "You have good aim, mate."

"**See to it this man is fed and has a bed for the night," the king ordered one of his knights, who showed Joseph out. Then he addressed his son. "Take a ride out there."**

"**Why?" Arthur scoffed.**

**Uther started to stand up. "So we can put people's minds at rest."**

"**Surely this is superstitious nonsense," the prince drawled incredulously.**

"**Gather the guard and do as I say." Uther left the room.**

"He really is worried," Percival rumbled. Merlin nodded and grimaced. _For good reason, _his expression seemed to say.

**Back in the physician's chambers, Merlin grabbed his leather satchel and started questioning Gaius. "Why is Uther so worried?"**

"**Because the Knights of Medhir are a force to be reckoned with," his mentor replied.**

"**Do you believe the story as well?" Merlin raised an eyebrow.**

**Gaius frowned at this. "It's more than a story, Merlin," he reprimanded. "Some 300 years ago, seven of Camelot's knights were seduced by a sorcerer's call. One by one, they succumbed to her power. At her command, they became a terrifying and brutal force that rode through the lands leaving death and destruction in their wake."**

Gwaine whistled. "Okay, that's not good." Merlin rolled his eyes.

"**What happened?" Merlin asked, eyes wide.**

"**It was only after the sorcerer herself was killed that the Knights of Medhir finally grew still. Merlin, if what Joseph says is true, then something has awoken them, and I fear for each and every one of us," he finished gravely.**

"Dramatic scene ending!" Gwaine groaned comically. Merlin threw another apple at his head.

**Briefly it showed Arthur, Merlin, and a platoon of knights clattering out through the gates on horses.**

**Then it cut to Morgana in her green dress, entering her chambers and closing the door behind her. Moving over to the window, she saw it was open and noticed the small metal box sitting on the windowsill. Carefully she opened it and read the small piece of paper inside. The Round Table were able to catch a glimpse of the words 'My Dearest Morgana,' before Gwen appeared over her shoulder and asked, "Are you alright?"**

**Quickly crumpling up the note, she replied, "Yes. Just a little cold."**

**As she closed the window, Gwen gazed at her worriedly. "Do you need something warmer?"**

"**No, thank you."**

"I miss her. The old Morgana," Gwen commented sadly. "This was after she'd sided with Morgause. You could already tell she'd changed… for the worse." Arthur stayed silent.

**Merlin and Arthur rode through the forest, behind them the knights. "What is it, Merlin? Don't tell me you've been listening to Gaius's bedtime stories again," the prince snorted.**

"**I just hope that's all they are," the manservant shot back nervously.**

"And… they weren't," Merlin muttered.

**Morgana stepped quickly down a flight of stairs, in a dark dress and a cloak. Exiting the castle, she waited in the woods for a moment, then turned to find Morgause waiting for her.**

"Again with the cloaks!" the warlock moaned dramatically. "At least this one isn't _bright blue._"

"**You look well," Morgause greets her.**

"**Thanks to you," Morgana smiled, fingering the enchanted bracelet around her wrist. "I wear it all the time. I can't remember when I last had a bad dream."**

"Cool bracelet," Elyan remarked, gazing at it curiously. "So it's enchanted to keep Morgana from having nightmares?"

Merlin frowned. "Not quite. It's more like a healing bracelet – it can cure nearly anything. In Morgana's case, that was nightmares."

"**Yet you do not seem happy," the blonde sorceress observed. "Why is that?"**

**Morgana's expression soured. "I would be. If I didn't have to pretend."**

"**Pretend?" she questioned.  
><strong>

**Her brow lowered further. "That I am Uther's loving ward. When I hate him."**

"I can actually understand that," Merlin murmured softly. "But there is no way I would have stooped so low as to killing him. Oh, and Arthur, about that – it was Morgana who killed your father."

Arthur's eyes narrowed. "No, it was that Dragoon bloke. If I ever meet him again, I'll kill him in an instant." Merlin winced at that, but the king dismissed it as the thought of the justified (in his mind) murder of one of his kind. _Magic users are all the same… there's no way they can be trusted._

**This seemed to excite the elder, and she started to pace slightly. "Have you ever imagined a new world, Morgana? One where Uther was no more?"**

"**Sometimes," she admitted.**

"**And is that what you'd like?"**

"**I once had the chance to be his assassin," Morgana informed her sister.**

"She _what?!_" Arthur yelped.

Merlin sighed. "That is another memory, for later."

"**And what stopped you?" Morgause asked.**

**Morgana's eyes narrowed**. **"I don't know. I believe he cared for me. But not anymore. He cares for no one."**

"**So, you want Uther destroyed and his reign to end?" she finished triumphantly.**

"So this is where she was finally led astray…" Gwen murmured, full of sorrow.

"**More than anything. But** **it doesn't matter what I want. The future's not of my making."**

Merlin raised an eyebrow. "Wow. So she _didn't _know about her destiny? That's rather surprising, but I understand where she's coming from."

"**You are wrong, Morgana. You underestimate your importance. The decisions you make now will **

**change the shape of everything that is to come."**

"Is that true?" Leon asked Merlin curiously. He nodded.

"We all have our destinies. Some are merely more important than others. Morgana, Arthur, and I – no, make that Morgana, _Mordred_, Arthur and I – are all spun in a web none of us can truly understand. And when I told you I was immortal, that's not entirely true. I'm not immortal, but I'm not mortal either. And no, I don't understand it either. Guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens when Arthur sticks his sword through my chest."

Arthur looked alarmed. "Why would I do that?! Wait… what _have_ you done, sorcerer?!" Merlin winced at the name, but shook his head and waved towards the memory.

**Morgana looked hopeful and curious. "What do you mean?"**

"**Whose side are you on, Morgana? Are you with Uther? Or are you with me? Are you prepared to help me bring about his downfall?"**

"**I am."**

"And that," Merlin announced, "is where she only _started _to betray us."

**Morgause moved closer and touched her sister's cheek gently. "I can't tell you how much it means to hear you say that." Her eyes flashed gold and Morgana crumpled to the ground, but the blonde caught her and laid her down slowly. Then she stood, took a simple wooden staff, and started drawing a line around the raven-haired woman on the ground. "****Acene slæp swilce ... Acene slæp swilce ... Acene slæp swilce ..." Morgana began to glow with a faint blue light.**

**Then she was sitting up, awake, back in her own chambers in the light of day. Staring off into the distance, clearly confused, Morgana was interrupted by Gwen coming in.**

"**Morning, My Lady. Morgana. **_**Morgana."**_

**Finally she looked up. "Yes?"**

"Wait, how'd she get back there?" Elyan asked. Merlin shrugged.

"Morgause, probably."

"**Did you sleep well?" The dark haired maid yawned.**

"**Yes. Better than you, by the looks of it."**

"**Sorry," Gwen apologized with a sigh.**

Gwen frowned. "I remember that. That spell Morgause put on Morgana – that was what was making us sleepy?" Merlin sighed and nodded. _All these questions… showing them these memories is getting complicated. I'll kill that dragon when I see him next._

**Uther sat up in bed, sweating. "I** **have court business that needs attending to," he mumbled.**

**Gaius, sitting at his side, dismissed this. "You have to stay in bed, Sire. You have a fever. I'll prepare a tonic for you. When did he first fall ill?" The last question was directed at Sir Leon, as the physician moved from the king's bedside.**

"Hey, it's Leon!" Gwaine cheered. Leon rolled his eyes.

"**It came on this morning. It's not something to worry about?" the knight asked anxiously.**

Gwaine frowned. "Your hair was shorter. Looks weird." Leon smacked him over the head.

"**No. It will soon pass. Be sure to let me know if there's any change."**

**Next they saw Arthur and Merlin's party, arriving at the gates of Idirsholas. Entering the ruins, they move cautiously, all the knights with their swords drawn. "What's that noise?" Merlin asks nervously.**

"**What noise?" Arthur answered.**

"**A sort of trembling sound."**

"**That's your knees knocking together."**

Gwaine, Leon, Gwen, and Percival laughed slightly at that. "Definitely your knees, mate," Gwaine joked. Merlin glared at him.

**Gwen sat in the physician's chamber, yawning, waiting for Gaius to find her a remedy. "I fear this contagion is spreading. You're the fifth person I've seen today," the physician admitted.**

"**I'm sure it's nothing," she reassured him. Gaius knocked a potion bottle to the floor, off of a shelf, which shattered.**

"**Damn," he cursed.**

"Gaius swears?" Merlin yelped. The others looked incredulous as well.

**Bending down to pick it up, Gaius stops. "Oh. I'll pick that up later. I think I might need a little something myself. If I can ever find what it is I'm looking for."**

"The sleeping spell was affecting everybody," Arthur remarked. Merlin nodded for probably the millionth time.

**Back in Idirsholas, Arthur, Merlin, and the knights entered a small chamber. Moving over to the firepit, Arthur felt the coals with his gloved hand, then frowned slightly. "It seems part of Joseph's story was true. Probably just travelers passing through."**

**Merlin, looking the opposite way, grimaced. "Or maybe not."**

Arthur groaned. "Seriously, you're making the rest of us look bad. Like we can't notice anything and yet a _servant_ always is the first to know when danger hits." Merlin didn't know whether to take this as an insult or a compliment, so simply smiled hesitantly.

**The knights whirled around to find the Knights of Idirsholas standing in stone-still formation. In unison, they drew their swords, mirrored by the Camelot knights. For a while they fought, being stabbed many times, but never faltering. Arthur lost his sword in the gut of one, and ducked as another swung at his head. **

"**Arthur!" Merlin yelled, tossing him a sword, Arthur caught it and started to fight. **

"**Run, Merlin! Go!" he ordered, but Merlin stopped. "What are you…? Do as I say!" Shoving the manservant ahead of him, Arthur continued to fight. Merlin paused in the doorway and looked up at the ceiling.**

**The warlock pulled Arthur with him as he backed away, muttered "Ahríes þæc!" then tugged the prince away as the ceiling collapsed, cutting them off from the Knights. Both then ran into the woods, back to their horses. Arthur pointed at Merlin's arm.**

"**What happened to your arm?"**

Gwaine had the gall to laugh. "First battle wound?"

"**Oh, I must have caught it on something," the manservant replied easily.**

"**Let me see," the prince ordered. Looking at his closer, he grinned and said breathlessly, "Your first battle wound! Here." He started to rip the bottom of his tunic.**

**Merlin looked apprehensive. "Er, no. No, don't… you'll ruin it."**

"And you can mend it!" Merlin, Arthur, Elyan, Gwaine, and Percival chorused. The knights cracked up.

"**Don't worry. You can mend it!" Arthur said cheerfully.**

"Copycat," Merlin pouted.

"**Did anyone else escape?" he added, more serious. Merlin shook his head. "We need to get back to Camelot, gather reinforcements." They leaped on their horses and took off for Camelot.**

**As they entered the citadel, they found the guards lying in a heap at the entrance. "Are they dead?" Merlin asked nervously. Arthur checked.**

"**No, they're breathing," the blonde said, puzzled.**

"Ding ding ding! And _nobody_ points to Morgana?" Gwaine said in mock despair. For probably the fifteenth time, he was whacked upside the head.

"**What's happened to them?"**

"**I don't know." Arthur stood up. They jogged into the square and looked around in confusion. The same phenomenon had happened here – knights, guards strewn about the place, looking for all the world to be asleep. Yet they wouldn't wake up. "What's going on?" the prince questioned no-one, baffled.**

Leon frowned. "That spell seemed to definitely have worked well for Morgause. Is there no cure?" Merlin winced.

"There's a cure, just… you'll see."

"**I'll get Gaius," Merlin announced, heading into the palace. A moment later, he reappeared and called anxiously, "Arthur?!" The prince followed.**

**Inside was the same as outside. Courtiers and servants alike littered the steps, sound asleep. "They're sound asleep," the warlock diagnosed. "Must be some kind of sickness."**

"**Where's my father?" Arthur asked quickly. The pair trotted up the steps and rush into the Council Chamber, but no one is there. "Where is he?!"**

"You really cared for him," Gwaine stated matter-of-factly. Arthur glared, the _I-know-and-now-he's-dead-so-shut-up_ glare.

**Next they enter the physician's chambers. "Gaius!" Merlin exclaimed, running over to his mentor, fast asleep on a book at his desk. "It must be the work of magic," he continued.**

"**We have to find my father!" Arthur pressed.**

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Yeah, we got that."

**As they entered Morgana's chambers, Arthur noticed Gwen lying on the floor. He picked her up and laid her on the bed, tenderly moving a strand of hair away from her face.**

Both flushed deep red and looked away from each other, although Gwen decided to rub it in her husband's face and snuggle a little closer, which just made him blush more. That was probably her intention.

**Suddenly there was a rustle from behind the curtain.**

"Don't tell me the Knights of Medhir were hiding in the king's ward's chambers, behind her curtains?" Gwaine said jokingly. Arthur threw a random goblet that was lying out after their meal earlier at his knight's head. The small indignant curse was drowned out by noise from the memory.

**As Arthur pulled back the screen with a shout, Morgana screamed.**

"Oohhhh…" Gwaine grinned. "Very manly shout, Princess."

Merlin sighed. "And poor _skittish_ Merlin manages to keep completely silent…" He shot a patronizing pout at Arthur, then immediately drew back as he saw the murderous look on the King's face.

"**It's me!" the prince tried to comfort her, grabbing her shoulders. "****It's me, Morgana! What's happened?"**

**She shuddered slightly, still looking terrified. "I didn't know it was you!" she babbled.**

"She looks really freaked out," Elyan commented. Merlin snorted.

"She's a good actress. Although I do believe she might have been a _little _truly freaked out there…"

"**Calm down, Morgana. Just tell me what happened," he soothed.**

**She took a deep breath. "People were complaining, saying they weren't feeling well."**

"I wonder why," Gwaine added sarcastically.

Merlin shrugged. "Actually, she didn't know," he muttered. "She really is scared at this point."

"**And what then?"**

"**They started falling asleep. Everyone, everywhere I went." She looked terrified.**

"**Was someone here?" Morgana shook her head.**

Leon looked at Merlin questioningly, but the servant waved him off. "Later."

"**Then why were you hiding?" he asked.**

"**I told you, I didn't know who you were," she answered indignantly.**

Gwen smiled sadly. "She still has her old spark."

**Arthur's expression grew even more serious. "Where's my father?"**

**Shaking her head slightly, she stammered, "I don't know."**

"**Arthur, she's distressed," Merlin cut in.**

"**If she was awake then she must have seen something," the prince insisted.**

"She actually didn't," Merlin pointed out.

"**I didn't see anything."**

**Arthur was getting impatient. "You saw people getting sick, what did you do?"**

"There was nothing TO do," Merlin sighed.

"**What could I do?"**

**Gesturing the tiniest bit in his confusion, Arthur continued, "Morgana, I don't understand. Why is it that you're the only person awake?" She didn't answer.**

Gwaine munched on an apple thoughtfully. "Could be the spell, but I'm just guessing."

**Next was the knights of Idirsholas riding out from their castle. Then it was Merlin, Arthur, and Morgana walking down a corridor towards Uther's chambers. Merlin kept surreptitiously glancing at the king's ward, who kept her eyes glued on the floor.**

"Tensiooon," Gwaine sang.

"**Don't worry, I won't say anything," Merlin whispered.**

"**About what?" Morgana answered, glancing at Arthur, who had hurried farther along the corridor.**

"**The illness."**

"You knew?" Gwen asked curiously.

Merlin shook his head. "No, I had my suspicions, but I didn't think it was actually her. Yet."

**They found Uther. More tension, then Merlin goes off to find the mystery potion. In a forest, Morgause meets with her knights, who bow to her, then all ride off to Camelot. Meanwhile, Merlin visits the dragon and learns that Morgana is the key to ending the spell.**

"She was the key all along?" Elyan muttered. "But how did you break the spell? She isn't dead…"

Sighing, Merlin turned away from the crystals and waved his hand to make it stop. It came out as more of a 'stop it', pained wave then an 'in-control' wave. "I… I'll explain," he said sadly, blowing out a breath and glancing sorrowfully at Arthur.

"Once I realized I had to kill her, I didn't- I didn't know what to do. Honestly, I really didn't want to kill her. I thought there was some way, all along, that we could make this out alive and friends. That was never meant to be." He placed his head in his heads. "So I poisoned her. While Arthur was out keeping the Knights of Medhir busy, I offered her a waterskin tainted with hemlock from Gaius' stores. Morgause arrived and…" he sighed again, grabbing fistfuls of his own hair and clenching them into fists, "we made a trade. I showed her what had poisoned Morgana, and she stopped the knights and the sleeping curse." Then he visibly slumped, as though a metric ton of heavy lead had just been lifted from his shoulders.

All was silent. "Merlin…" Gwen whispered, seeing her friend in a whole new light. Even the talkative knights, the wisecracking Gwaine, stayed quiet. Arthur visibly struggled for a moment with this explanation, then exploded,

"So you let Morgause take her?"

Merlin's eyes, usually a clear blue, looked up – now clouded and filled to the brim with sorrow. "Yes," he whispered.

"And Morgause is the one who corrupted her?"

"… Yes."

"So it's you!" the king snarled. "You're to blame for Morgana turning…" he swallowed. "Evil. It's all your fault. I should have known!" He threw his hands up in the air, breathing out of his nose hard. "I knew it. Magic is pure evil. It corrupts." Pointing an accusing finger, he continued harshly, "Just how long until it corrupts you too?"

"Arthur!" Gwen's sharp tones broke her husband's rolling temper. "Leave him be. At least let him," she gestured vaguely to the crystals, "explain."

Gritting his teeth, Arthur worked over this for a moment. Then,

"Fine." Sulking, he sat down heavily on one of the polished rocks Merlin had summoned, then leaped off a second later like he'd been burned. _Magic made that rock._ He'd be better off sitting on the floor. Doing just that, the royal blonde turned his angry blue eyes towards the white glittering crystals, signaling Merlin to continue.

The manservant took a moment to uncurl himself from his balled-up position, and when he raised his hand again to show the next scene, his once-bright eyes were dull and weary with a grim sadness far beyond his years. A flash of golden eyes, their warm touch visibly dimmed, and the crystals came once more to life…

* * *

><p><em>How many of you hate me? Let's see some hands! How many love me? Yay, more hands! SHOW THE LOVE~<em>

_Thank you so much for all the support, all the wonderful people who kept reviewing long after the disappointment of last chapter had grown stale, who urged and poked and prodded me to update, and the tenacity of my FF friends who wouldn't let me stop thinking about this. x) This chapter is dedicated to How many of you hate me? Let's see some hands! How many love me? Yay, more hands! SHOW THE LOVE~_

_Thank you so much for all the support, all the wonderful people who kept reviewing long after the disappointment of last chapter had grown stale, who urged and poked and prodded me to update, and the tenacity of my FF friends who wouldn't let me stop thinking about this. x) This chapter is dedicated to you, dear readers._

_Now, show your appreciation and warm this tired author's heart by leaving many more beautiful reviews!_

_**Kat**_


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